Parenting and Personal Development Blog

Senate Passes Stem Cell Research Bill

2007-04-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

Senate Passes Stem Cell Research Bill

For the second time in nine months, the Senate today passed a bill that would loosen President Bush's restrictions on human embryonic stem cell research, but once again falling short of the 67 votes needed to override a promised veto.

Curious that articles about stem cell researchy do not mention that stem cell research is not illegal, just not funded by the Federal Government. If the private research supports the claims of proponents of stem cell research, why dosent anyone tell us about the great progress that is being made in the private sector using live embryos, oh wait, I forgot, there has been no progress to date, do I smell an agenda on the left? By the way, stem cell research is now funded in CA.

The following exerpt is from http://www.leaderu.com/focus/stemcell.html

One such myth remains: President Bush banned all stem cell research. Yet, private research on embryonic cell lines continues and adult cell lines continue to display amazing restorative powers.

Scientists have indeed used early embryos or blastocysts, some from embryos previously created for implantation and pregnancy, some created solely for research, but results have been mixed at best. Cells often grow out of control into tumors, immune systems sometimes reject the cells and as yet no way has been found to guide the cells into the differentiation needed for use in the adult (or child) body. Granted, it would take many more cell lines (and a great deal more money) to reach this point of learning how to guide the differentiation, if indeed it can be done, which provides another utilitarian argument for lifting the limitation on embryonic cell lines.

Cells from birthed humans (called "adult stem cells" whether the source is literally an adult or a child or even a baby), on the other hand, show extraordinary results and promise. Spinal cord injury victims have testified before the U.S. Senate of their recoveries, heart attack patients have regenerated hearts, a sickle cell anemia sufferer was cured by umbilical cord blood (which as the others, required no human death) and cancer patients now live symptom-free. We have gathered a few articles, essays and other resources, some of which offer further lists of current successes.

The Church is Off Course

2007-04-05T06:28:00.000-07:00

The Church has Lost it's First Love

It appears to me that the Evangelical Church has been led astray, lost it's first love. Every church I go to, every Christian TV program I watch is focused on evangelism. Don't get me wrong, evangelism is high on the list of God's priorities, but it is not His top priority, not even close.

Evangelism is NOT on the top of God's Priority List

Think about it. If evangelism is at the top of God's priority list, why doesn't it get top billing in the Old Testament, as a matter of fact, why doesn't Jesus give it top priority. Come to think of it, it doesn't even get top priority in the New Testament. Seems to me that if we want to know what should get priority we should check out what Jesus gives top priority to. It isn't evangelism. Yet evangelism is all we hear about, as though evangelism is the issue.

God's top Priority is God.

God's top priority is God. God the Holy Spirit's top priority is God the Son, God the Son's top priority is God the Father. The entire Bible, every part of it is dedicated to bringing glory to the Son of God. If you read a passage and do not find Christ at the center of it you have not understood the passage. It is about the Lord, it is about His glory, His place in our hearts. If He is not in the center then something else is. I am concerned that much of the church has it's focus on church growth and see evangelism as the mobilizing force, as a way of manipulating the people into bringing in the numbers and of course the contributions that go with it.

The Church has Gone Horizontal

The heart of man is desperately wicked, and putting our selves ahead of His glory is an indictment of just how far we have swayed from the core of the true faith that the saints of God are called to. The church has gone horizontal, the songs we sing have way to much "I, Me and We" in them and not enough of and about Him. People are now trained to respond to teaching related to self improvement and personal satisfaction. Sunday Schools are watered down, Bible Study has become devotional in nature, the radio and TV programs are about us, about our problems. A scarce few actually teach the word of God, magnify His name and teach people what really saves them, (and it is not a simple feel good prayer from Americas best selling Christian book.) Bring up Jesus and His glory in a conversation among several Christians and watch what happens, people scatter or the conversation invariably turns to something else, Christians no longer know enough about Jesus to feel comfortable talking about Him, about His glory and about His person, about His sacrifice.

So What is God's Plan

The two commandments the Lord gave us are "Mt 22:37 And He said to him, "'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.'38 "This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 "The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' 40 "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

Evangelism should get high billing, but not at the expense of what is at the center of God's heart which is Himself. I am afraid that if we do not get to the business of putting Him first, we will soon loose our effectiveness. The songs we sing should be about Him first, our plans, conversations and joy should be wrapped up in Him. The fact that He is not at the center is a clear sign that we just don't think about Him, His Glory and His desire for our lives, the Church has clearly put itself in the center of the peoples hearts, or at least attempting to. Church leaders, look at what is being taught in your Sunday Schools, the songs you are singing, the passages you are preaching, look at what is being displayed in your foyers, what is in your bulletins, is it about Him or us. He should have priority, not what He can do for us, but Him.

Evangelism

Want to grow your Church, put Him at the center. When people fall desperately in love with Him, they cannot help but boast about Him to everyone they meet. Now that is evangelism.

Ps 34:2 My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; The humble shall hear it and rejoice. 3 O magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together.

Jer 9:23 ¶ Thus says the LORD, "Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; 24 but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice, and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things, "declares the LORD.

Wild at Heart

2006-12-28T07:33:00.000-08:00

Wild at Heart

If you haven't read the book "Wild at Heart", I strongly recommend it. This is a book with a strong message to men urging us to live the core of who we are.

Wild at Heart is a book about men using courage to:

Find an adventure and live it.
Charge the mountains in your life with passion.
Win the girl.

I don't know about you, but something in these three action items excites my heart. Makes me want to climb the Mt Everest of my life and WIN.

Hope you will buy and enjoy this great book. While you are at it, get the women in your life the companion book "Captivating."

A Poem by Mike Adams

2006-11-24T07:27:00.000-08:00

Dreams of the Curse

Born under curse treading water from birth,
Fleeing monsters without faces in restlessness.
Dying in dreams without want, without reason,
Flights of fear in nights of relentless motion.

Torn without love of parents once removed,
Brought back to a place with nowhere to hide.
Moved to Metropolis where truth hides in cold,
Lost in dreams of the curse in blinding night.

Struck in anger, uprooted, torn down,
Running to nowhere to escape hell’s scorn.
Hiding in eggshells, where no one can see,
Haunted by sunsets in sins agony.

Abandoned in youth, left at sins side,
Faced with his vises he will surely die.
Left as a weed in barren soil to exist,
Tormented by visions of curses by night.

Finding the one to live with forever,
Daydreams of greatness, sleeping undressed.
From a distance hope cries out from the best,
Drowned out by slumber’s hopelessness.

Found by the guilty to work for hire,
Betraying the dreams that now bring desire.
Running from pain of life without rest,
Searching dark rooms for meaning and bliss.

Dreams of the curse from Adams side,
Will wake us one day as Jesus bride.

A poem by Mike Adams

2006-11-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

The Crimson Path

There is a narrowing path
Crossing over a crimson bridge
Where crystal waters of healing
Flow from the Creator’s side

And we will one day enter
Into a hollowed stone
Where Jesus went in before us
His body beaten bloodied and torn

A King of mans desire
foretold before his birth
Became a wretched scapegoat
That I might wear a crown

Some of my Muses

2006-11-24T07:21:00.000-08:00

Here are two muses I wrote as part of a project in a writers critique group led by James Wray of Ramona CA.

Blood on the Clouds

The deepest, darkest cloud
Is white as snow on heavens side.

Resurrection Fragrance

Some are pruned to perfection
Others are left to their own
One rises a marigold The other rises a rose

Career Advice

2006-11-16T06:44:00.000-08:00

Career Advice

Get to know yourself early on, take the personal assessment at http://www.high-octane-living.com/shopping.htm and read them at least once a year.

Call me for a career coaching session once you have completed the assessments. It will be the best two hundred dollars you will ever spend.

Learn to plan, plan your day, your week and your life. Not having a plan is planning to fail.

Develop a five year plan. Figure out where you want to be in five years. Then fill in the things you have to do between now and then, and start doing them.

Discover your true passion, list all the things you love to do, then how you feel about them, then list what it is you are actually doing that makes you feel that way. Read the results carefully for patterns. These patterns will give you insights into your personal passions. Use this information to find a career which will allow you to use your passion.

If you have not finished college, do it now, if you need coaching, get it now. If you are not sure what your passions are in life, get help now. Find this stuff out while you can still do something about it.

If you hate your work, plan to get out of it into something you love.

If what you love is difficult to make a living at, like art, music, drama etc., find a plan B, make what you love your hobby and try to make a little money at it, if you love it, just getting a chance to do it will keep you satisfied.

Do not get fooled into thinking that you are going to work just to earn money, money is a terrible task master. Instead, work at what you enjoy, you will be good at it and people will pay you well when you do it.

If you own your own company, read the white papers at http://www.emerald-business-services.com/ they will help you do it right. If you are thinking about starting a business, there are resources at this site that will assist you.

Parenting Advice

2006-11-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

Parenting Advice

Use a wooden spoon, never in anger, to spank your young child, start as soon as they can say no to you. Just a few swats is all it takes, and be very consistent. By the time they are two, you will not have any terrible twos, when they become teens, they will still obey. Forget about the time outs, it is just a parental exorcise program developed to create frustrated children and parents. Trust Gods advice and spank them, they will not die. Pr 13:24 ¶ He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Pr 22:15 ¶ Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Pr 23:13 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die. Pr 23:14 You shall beat him with the rod, And deliver his soul from Sheol.

Read my free online book "Parenting your Child's Design" at http://www.high-octane-living.com/rhoc-toc.htm or follow directions to download it.

Those of you who are arguing with God on this will figure out the wisdom of it all when they become teens. Do yourself a favor and love them the way God says to, use the spoon.

Give your teens the assessment tests at http://www.high-octane-living.com/shopping.htm and read them at least once a year.

Get your children in youth group, one they like, and keep them there, do not let their discouragement at first derail your goals.

Give your children the gospel early on and ask them if they want to receive Jesus Christ as their personal savior.

Spend family time together, build traditions around holidays.

Talk to your kids about life, about your values, about their heritage, about your dreams. Find out what their dreams are, incourage them to be all they can be.

Make them work for and buy their own cars, expensive toys etc. Don't buy them things they don't need. Teach them to do without and they will be happy when they have, no matter how much it is.

Encourage your children to engage in conversation with adults as they grow into teens, people you know and trust of course, people in your church who can act as mentors.

Read good books on parenting, by well known Christian authors like James Dobson.

Career Advice is the next blog

Marriage Advice | Parenting Advice | Career Advise

2006-11-16T06:42:00.000-08:00

Marriage Advice Parenting Advice Career Advise

It is interesting how life progresses. It seems that by the time you finally figure out how you should raise kids, they are grown and married. By the time you figure out how to have great sex, you are old and gray. By the time you figure out what career you want, you are in your fifth career change. The sad thing is that what we do when we are younger often sets the stage for how well we will fare for the rest of our lives.

Here are the things my wife and I have learned about each. If you will take heed, you will be investing in your life, a future full of rewards, if you do not, you will join many who live lives of regret as they grow older.

Marriage Advice

I am often asked for marriage advice, so here are some of the things my wife and I have found to make our marriage one most people only dream of.

Start devotions today, read the bible together, or get a book on marriage, God, the Bible, parenting etc, read it together, outloud.

Become active members of a Bible preaching church, one that is evangelical in nature, not a social club.

Talk to each other often about what you love and respect about each other.

Guys, make sure your objective is to bring your wife to orgasim, not just to have sex. This is done through loving her all day long and ends in foreplay followed by lovemaking. This one thing will change your lovelife from sex to lovemaking. It is like the move from childhood to adulthood. Don't wait until you are fifty to get this right, you are missing as wonderful part of life!

Get to know each other early on, take the personal assessment at http://www.high-octane-living.com/shopping.htm and read them at least once a year.

Read Love and Respect, purchase it here http://www.high-octane-living.com/marriage-and-family.htm and practice the notes at the ends of the chapters.

Order Mark Guygor's laugh your way to a better marriage complete DVD here https://www.laughyourway.com/comersus/store/comersus_dynamicindex.asp heed the advice in this DVD set, it is some of the best I have seen on marriage, and you will laugh all the way through the seminar.

Do things together, take some time alone, but do most everything you do together.

Make a commitment together to stay together, the word divorce should not even be in your vocabulary, unless there is abuse or adultery, even then you might be able to hold your marriage together with the help of qualified counseling.

Go to marriage seminars and marriage classes, not because you have a bad marriage, but because you want to make a good marriage great.

Parenting Advice is the topic of the next blog.

The God No One Wants

2006-09-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

I am amused by the responses people give to the question "do you go to church?" The responses vary but the bottom line is people do not want the God of the bible as their god. They want God to fit a different definition or set of attributes. They want Him to be defined as they believe He should be.

In their view a loving God would not:

Allow suffering, or death for that matter
Suggest evil people be put to death
Demand justice
Keep Himself from the world
Make rules that they do not agree with
Let His Son die

But He would:

Make everyone righteous
Heal with miracles
Not allow sickness
Reveal Himself physically to anyone that asked

The list could go on and on, but you get the picture.

The curious thing is people want a god that fits their criteria, does their opinion of what is right and proper. In other words, they want to set the standard of what and who God is.

Seems to me they don't want God at all, they want to be God, after all, if He is only as powerful as they make Him out to be, as loving or righteous as they can imagine, He could only be as great as they are, as loving as defined by them.

The God I want is one that is powerful enough to raise me from the dead and give me eternal life. He needs to be so wise I cannot always follow His ways, His love has to be limitless, His justice beyond my understanding and His power so amazing He can create from His very thoughts.

I have never met a man or woman who fit this criteria, I know I don't. I need a savior, one who's justice is beyond my reach, one who loves me enough to let me fail, one who wants me to trust so much that He would not reveal Himself to me unless I believed in Him first, one who loves me so much he was willingly died for me, and did.

I want the God of the Christian bible. He alone is beyond my ability to understand, I cannot manipulate Him, understand Him or even talk to Him, He is to Holy for that because on my own, I do not measure up. But He has provided a way, a path. This path is the one He, as infinite, all powerful, all knowing God, set forth as the only way to Himself, to eternal life and to a truly abundant life. Through His death He has provided a way for me to measure up to His standard. He did this by covering my sin with His own blood which He has declared as the only way to pay for our sins. Then He went one step further and upon my request, He entered into me, took residence in me. Who do you know that could do that? Who do you know that you trust could do that. Who has ever claimed to do that besides the God of the Christian bible.

Those who would have a god of their own making are missing the greatest blessing of life, they settle for being their own god instead of knowing the real God. This is the great tragedy of life, and the afterlife for that matter.

Confess your sins, repent of them, (turn away from the life of sin) believe that Jesus is God, ask Him into your life as your Lord and Savior. The life of a believer is not an easy life, nor do I want an easy life by my definition, but this is a life one can truly LIVE with.

Since making my decision to become "Born Again", I have experienced love and relationship beyond my imagination. But isn't that the point, wouldn't the God of the universe be beyond our imagination.

Check out the Adult Online Bible Studies

2006-08-08T06:27:00.000-07:00

I am currently posting my weekly Bible studies online. You can see them at http://www.high-octane-living.com/Bible-Study.htm. The studies are a result of years of study and have all been taught in an interactive format. The Bible Study Lesson format provides for easy addition and deletion of material as required. The Bible lessons are for a class time of one hour.

The basic format is:

Ice Breaker - Each lesson has an ice breaker included to get things rolling.

Announcements - This is a reminder to make announcements

Humor - Some of the studies have related humor to set a light hearted tone

Prayer - This is a reminder to pray before the lesson

How class will benefit from lesson - Application - At this point students are given the application, it is read from the end of the lesson, this helps reinforce the application of the lesson.

Goal of the Class is point 1,2,3 - The goals of the lesson are to learn each of the primary points, so at this point they are briefly over viewed.

Illustration - There are illustrations which help illuminate the Bible study lesson.

Interactive - This portion of the Bible Study Lesson is designed to help students interact with the subject matter.

Study - Each Bible study lesson is given a name

Point One - Every Bible study lesson is divided into three sections, these are the primary points taught in the lesson.

Point Two -

Point Three -

Application - The application of the Bible study is usually a summary of the Bible studies three points. Lessons to live by.

Review the benefits of the lesson - The lesson is summarized by what was learned.

I trust you will find these Free Bible Studies helpful.

Parenting Your Child's Design

2006-06-26T11:33:00.000-07:00

My new e-book, Parenting Your Child's Design is now available at this link. Click Here

Check out the information page and let me know what you think.

In this sample from Chapter 5 the relationship between a child's passions and how they are like a compass directing the path of a child. This and other helpful illustrations are provided to assist you in parenting your child.

When I was nine years old, we lived in a tin roofed home on a small farm in central Arizona. It was a paradise for a young adventurer. One of the experiences I had on the old farm shaped the passions of my heart for the rest of my life.

Early one morning a plane roared overhead just above our house. The sound of the radial engine was thrilling, and the sight of the big, yellow biplane soaring gracefully through the sky so low to the ground sent chills up my spine. I watched as the plane flew over neighboring crops dusting them between maneuvers around telephone poles, and structures. As quickly as the plane maneuvered to dust a row it again turned, and slowed as the pilot lined up the plane with the dirt strip, and then landed in a few fields over. A few minutes later he took off again, and it was all I could take. I started running toward where he landed watching the graceful biplane the entire time. I could feel the shadow as he passed overhead blocking the Arizona sun. The strip he landed on was a lot farther than I thought, although it didn’t matter because I had all the energy I needed to get there. Field after field, along paved roads to dirt roads, and finally to the small temporary dirt strip I ran as fast as I could to get to the landing strip. As I stood panting at the departure end of the small dirt strip he made his final approach, and landed to reload chemicals for the last time. His partner got back in his service truck and drove off. The biplane made its final passes and then disappeared over the horizon, but never from my mind. That day is still vivid in my mind; as I am still filled with excitement, and anticipation about flying.

Years latter I am still passionate about flying. It seems to be engrained into my being, and the very thought of flight brings excitement to my heart. I earned my private pilot’s license, and instrument rating in my early thirties, and after two thousand hours as a pilot I still get a thrill out of takeoffs and landing. A passion developed in me on a sunny day as I watched a big yellow biplane dust crops.

Seeing passion in our children.

From an early age each of our children has flown with me over the years I let them take the controls, and “feel” the plane in their hands. Jason caught the fever just like I did, and over time he developed a passion for flying.

Seeing Jason’s interest in flying, Theresa, and I began encouraging him with rides in our airplane, books about flying, and stories of exciting flying adventures. When he was getting close to the age where he could get his private pilot’s license, we began encouraging him to pursue his passion by taking flying lessons. With his own hard earned cash he started working toward his dream while he was in high school, and soon after graduating he received his private pilot’s license. He since earned his instrument rating, and he is working diligently toward becoming a commercial airline pilot.

Jason’s passion followed his personal profile; he was born to be a pilot. Everything about his profile points to a profession where caution, attention to detail, development of others, recurring training, a talent for constant improvement, a servant’s heart, and a steady temperament are a part of the job description.

Using Passion as a Compass.

Some drivers use a compass mounted on their dash to help them get a bearing on their position relative to north. A compass is very handy when you are in an area you are a little unsure of, especially at night. As you observe your child’s desires and passions, you are reading a compass, interpreting traffic signs and getting clues pointing you toward where your child’s heart is. Passion comes from thoughts, which well up out of what we value and believe. As your children grow, the best way to understand how God made them is to observe what they love and what their desires are. What they value is part of what is behind the passion, when coupled with something, which excites what they value (such as flying in Jason’s case) a desire is intensified, and becomes apparent through observation and dialog. As a child develops he meditates on what excites his heart, and what he believes has value, which in turn develops a love and desire.

For other parenting information sources click here.

Communication in Marriage

2006-06-14T06:14:00.000-07:00

Communication in Marriage

The following represents responses from men and women in
a class on marriage. The questions are designed to help couples learn from the
opposite sex how to communicate love to one another through their actions.

Mens responses to how wives show support to their husbands

Support their efforts / Show appreciation
Words of support in what they are doing
Wives know your goals and share them
Family connections (help with). Men need help connecting because they are detached during the day

Womens responses on how husbands can be closer to their wives

Make them a priority
Confirmation with listening
Observing needs
Interested in what they are doing
Details not just summaries
Little unexpected surprises
Talking about the Lord together
Doing devotions and praying together

I put together the questions based upon similar questions in the book Love and Respect. Each chapter in the book has a similar list of questions that spouses can use to understand each other better. I highly recommend it.

Marriage Advise | Marriage Communication

2006-05-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

Marriage Advise

I have been teaching a class on marriage at our church. Each Sunday I have what we call an interactive time. This is a time where I pose a question to the class and they resond with answers and opinions.

Last week the question was:

Ladies, how would you like your husband to show you love?

The ladies answered:

Listen with interactive dialog and do not try to fix them, unless they ask for help or opinions.
Put words into action.
Have patience.
Be transparent.
Make them a priority.
Being a good provider.
Spontaneous acts of love without expectation of sexual intimacy.

Men, how would you like your wife to show you respect?

The men answered:

Greeting them after work.
Not talking them down behind their back.
Ask their opinion and advice.
Slow to anger.
Serving them.

The discussion that followed was revealing. Men want respect and women want love. After giving us one of the most important passages in the Bible on marriage, the apostle Paul gives us the formula for a happy marriage in Ephesians 5:33 where he says "Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and [let] the wife [see to it] that she respect her husband."

You can read more about these issues in the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Click here to purchase the book Love and Respect.

Foundations of Marriage

2006-05-08T06:48:00.000-07:00

This is the second in a series of three blogs on the foundation stones of a happy marriage.

Becoming One Flesh - Prior my previous blog
Love and Respect Cycle
Power and Love Balance

Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. -Aurelius

These three fundamental principles represent key ingredients of a happy marriage. There is no magic recipe for a happy marriage but there are certain principles, which will provide a sound foundation for strengthening your marriage.

Love and Respect Cycle: from the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

The principle is taken from Ep 5:33. It is a simple concept rooted in this easy to understand summary of Eph 5:33; "however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." The principle is illustrated in the chart on the left.

Bringing harmony to your marriage may be as easy as being the first one to make a move to provide what your mate most desperately needs.

A man wants and needs respect, a woman wants and needs love. It is that simple. Love motivates a woman to respect her husband and respect motivates a man to love his wife. What could be easier. But there is a catch. What if the person you are married to is not lovable, or not worthy of respect?

The solution is not in finding fault but in finding the original torch. What was it that made you fall in love in the first place? No doubt it was more than one thing. Write down a list of the things you love about your mate and meditate on the list, think about them, add to them as new ideas come to mind. You will find that when you think about what you love in a person your emotions will react to your thoughts.

What did you respect about the man you married, make a list of them and meditate on the list, think about them and your emotions will take over in the way you relate to him.

Do these simple things and you will find the principle of love and respect is a powerful ally in developing a happy marriage.

And the Two Became One Flesh

2006-04-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

High-Octane Marriage is all about living as one flesh, not two separate people living under the same roof.

Becoming one flesh illustrates an important spiritual reality. Just as a Christian becomes one with Christ when they are saved, a man and a woman become one with each other when they are married. They are committed to one another, they love one another and they communicate with each other as though they are one person, or at least that is how marriage is designed.

There are inherent disadvantages to living as two separate people under the same roof. Children soon catch on to the fact that there are his and her things, his and her bank accounts, his and her rules, the list never ends.

If children see that mom and dad are one, they know not to play one against the other.

Finances are among the top reasons for divorce. Keeping your finances together can help your marriage. If you and your spouse share bank accounts, you stay closer together in communication to keep track of spending, because you both have to monitor and be involved in the process.

The advantages to becoming one flesh are numerous. If you are looking for reasons, just think about why God wants us to think of our selves as one with Him, the insights are very revealing.

Recipe for a Happy Marriage

2006-04-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

Recipe for a Happy Marriage

Many people look on the Internet for the phrase "Recipe for a good marriage". As with many things in life the recipe for a good marriage starts with good ingredients in the right portions mixed in the right order and cooked according to the recipes instructions.

Recipe for a Happy Marriage

God - If both partners will put God first, you will never have to worry about who wins an argument, God will always win because both of you will go to Him as the final authority in any argument, if you do not believe in God, then there is no final authority, except of course recompense.

Spouse - Putting your spouse above the children sends the right message to your children and your spouse. If you put your spouses needs below those of your children you will find yourself lonely as they seek other sources of stimulation and become alienated from the children. Your spouse is a lifelong mate with whom you have been joined together with; you are not two separate people but one flesh. Your children are with you on loan from God, He expects you to raise them with love and care, but not at the expense of allowing them to come between you and your mate.

Family - Putting your family before work will come back to you in abundance. This means you might have to pass up the promotion that requires you to work extra long hours. Or it might mean finding a new job with a company that respects the family. Not easy words to digest, but the rewards for doing this include leaving a spiritual inheritance for your children, a real legacy. It might also mean passing on the new stuff so mom can be home more.

Work - Work before play, God gave us work to occupy us and teach us the value of time. When work get priority over our God, Spouse or family, the family unit breaks down, finances are often mishandled and life becomes a complete drag.

Of course the recipe book is the bible. Without consulting the bible you will find yourself wondering around in the badlands of life, seeking instruction from those who have to learn by trial and error, usually the errors of those they improperly instruct.

Develop a High-Octane Prayer Life

2006-03-20T16:47:00.000-08:00

Developing a High-Octane Prayer Ministry

As Christians we go before the actual throne of God, not in symbol, but in reality, it is there that we have audience with the God of the universe.

Heb 10:19 ¶ Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy
place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way which He inaugurated for
us through the veil, that is, His flesh, 21 and since we have a great
priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a sincere heart in
full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil
conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold fast the
confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;

Isaiah's vision should have the same effect on us it had on him, he saw and told us what effect it had on him, we can read not only this but many more assurances that tell us this is a truly awesome experience and privilege.

Isa 6:1 ¶ In the year of King Uzziah's death I saw the Lord sitting on a throne,
lofty and exalted, with the train of His robe filling the temple. 2
Seraphim stood above Him, each having six wings: with two he covered his face,
and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one called
out to another and said, "Holy, Holy, Holy, is the LORD of hosts, The whole
earth is full of His glory." 4 And the foundations of the thresholds
trembled at the voice of him who called out, while the temple was filling with
smoke. 5 ¶ Then I said, "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of
unclean lips, And I live among a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen
the King, the LORD of hosts." 6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a
burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs. 7
He touched my mouth with it and said, "Behold, this has touched your lips; and
your iniquity is taken away and your sin is forgiven." 8 Then I heard the
voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I
said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Now seeing that we are encompassed about by such a great cloud of witnesses we are truly blessed to have this knowledge of the Holy One we can with assurance offer prayers as the writer of Hebrews says.

Heb 12:1 ¶ Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of
witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset
us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

We have assurance that the Lord of Hosts answers our prayers offered with a sincere heart sprinkled clean with the blood of Christ, to not believe it is so, is to trample "under foot the Son of God."

Heb 10:29 How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has
trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the
covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?

Promises of Answers to prayer verses.

Ps 91:9 ¶ For you have made the LORD, my refuge, [Even] the Most High, your
dwelling place. 10 No evil will befall you, Nor will any plague come near your
tent. 11 For He will give His angels charge concerning you, To guard you in all
your ways. 12 They will bear you up in their hands, Lest you strike your foot
against a stone. 13 You will tread upon the lion and cobra, The young lion and
the serpent you will trample down. 14 "Because he has loved Me, therefore I will
deliver him; I will set him [securely] on high, because he has known My name. 15
"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I
will rescue him, and honor him. 16 "With a long life I will satisfy him, And let
him behold My salvation."

Jer 33:2 "Thus says the LORD who made [the earth,] the LORD who formed it
to establish it, the LORD is His name, 3 'Call to Me, and I will answer you, and
I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.'

Lu 11:9 "And I say to you, ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you
shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you.

Lu 11:15 ¶ "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16 "And I will
ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you
forever; 17 [that is] the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive,
because it does not behold Him or know Him, [but] you know Him because He abides
with you, and will be in you.

Joh 15:7 "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you
wish, and it shall be done for you. 8 "By this is My Father glorified, that you
bear much fruit, and [so] prove to be My disciples.

1Jo 3:20 ¶ in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our
heart, and knows all things. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we
have confidence before God; 22 and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because
we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His
sight.

Marriage Communication

2006-03-10T06:54:00.000-08:00

Marriage Communication

Comunication in marriage is a hot topic, in fact the term "marriage communication" is one of the most searched for terms on the internet (relative to marriage). With so much interest it is obvious that there is a problem in this area.

Marriage Communication

After thirty three years of success in marriage and a lifetime of Bible study on this and other topics I can offer some help here. I do not pretend to have all the answers but I can shed some light on the issue.

Marriage Communication - The Basics

We talk to people we enjoy talking to, it is that simple. If you have grown apart in your marriage you can expect poor communication. If you do not spend quality time in conversation with your mate you will not get to the real stuff that good marriages are made of . . . Sharing feelings, plans for the future, likes, dislikes and passions, sharing stories of the day and how the kids are doing. Notice that each of these things are the little things that bond a relationship together.

Marriage Communication - Rekindle Your Love

Love, by it nature, is an act of human will. Do not confuse it with lust, lust wants something, but love gives without expecting anything in return. Because love is an act of the will, it is possible to rekindle it, or to put another way, to kick start it. If you are in a relationship that was kindled by lust, and many are, you can turn the corner on love, relationship and marriage communication by practicing the following advise.

Think charitable thoughts about your mate, make this a habit, it won't work if you only do it once.

Think about what you love:

About the way they do something
The way they look that catches your eye, (non sexual)
Something they might have said to you that endears you to them
Something they do well
The way they laugh that makes you happy
The way they cry that makes you sad

This is just a sample list so make a list of your own. Once you begin to think charitable (think loving here) thoughts, start talking to your mate about them. This is a formula for getting on the right track in communicating with your spouse, and to a better marriage.

Marriage Communication - Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinks within himself, so he is . . .

Leadership Development

2006-03-06T06:20:00.000-08:00

Leadership Development

We are all leaders, if only in our own homes. Leadership comes natural to some people but great leadership comes from applied knowledge, understanding and wisdom. There is no magic formula to becoming a great leader, it is hard work and requires the application of a variety of disciplines. I have attempted to provide some foundational principles here which I have gleaned from the Bible, I trust these principles and concepts will be of value in development of your leadership style.

A knowledgeable leader learns his or her trade through training, reading and watching other leaders. Gaining knowledge about becoming a leader is simple. Take a course in leadership, read a few books, (John Maxwell has some great books on leadership), and find a leader who would be willing to mentor you.
A leader of understanding learns leadership by practicing it, through mentoring and application of concepts and principles learned through study. Practice what you learn, take the knowledge you are receiving and apply it, let it be manifested in your life, only then you will begin to see what you have learned start to pay off. Be patient, persistence and diligence are two keys in growing in your understanding of what a leader is and how to become one. If you are not leading other than in your home, find opportunities to get involved in leadership in your Church, community, in your child's school or take on a project leader role at work.

A wise leader learns to focus passion on opportunity; personality on promotion; talents and skills on their trade; and utilizes their behavioral traits to manage their weaknesses. Wisdom in leadership is elusive in our culture. Great leadership is measured by the wisdom of the leader. Wisdom is about knowing how to apply both your own skills and the skills of those you are leading, however it is always in the context of serving the good of others. Leadership is not self serving but self sacrificing.
Leadership is about making everyone on your team your personal development project, finding ways to make them be everything God made them to be. It is about teaching people how to focus their passions on opportunity where the real payoff is. If left to chance most of the passion in leaders will be focused on the problem areas of an enterprise instead of where it belongs, focused on opportunities. Great leaders position the right personalities to promote the organizational agenda, they put the right people together with the task they are best suited to be successful at.
Wise leaders learn how to apply their skills and talents on tasks only they can do, they find ways of getting other important things done by people who have the right skill sets to accomplish the organizations goals. We all have different behavioral traits that govern our leadership style. You can learn these by taking the DISC test. A wise leader will utilize these traits to manage their weaknesses. All of us have blind spots in our lives, it takes wisdom to know what they are and to manage them through delegation of tasks we are not equipped to handle.

The Right Tools for the Job

2006-02-27T06:20:00.000-08:00

The Right Tools for the Job

Theresa and I live on a small farm outside San Diego California, which was originally a large olive orchard. Our nine acres has the original eighty-year-old farmhouse, and many out buildings, and barns typically used to support a farm. The property had been a dumping spot, and the home was not lived in for years before we purchased it. Theresa is a farmer at heart, and it has been a lifelong dream of hers to live on a working farm. Within a few years we decided to develop a pick-your-own blackberry farm, blackberries are a weed in some states, but in Southern California they are a rare treat, and a pick your own experience is something parents can bring their kids to, and enjoy the experience together. Because of the size, age, and condition of the farm we expected there would be lots of work, but we had no idea of just how difficult it would be, we just do not own all the tools required to do it right. We had dreams for our farm, but without the right tools we cannot properly till the ground, plant, manage the vineyard, repair the buildings, and build fences. We are also missing the knowledge required to properly maintain a vineyard of blackberries. In its third year the berries were attacked by a fungus, and suffered a tremendous amount of damage. It took outside help to find out just what was wrong, and what we needed to do to correct the problems we were facing, we did not have the experience we needed to be successful on our own.

Learning the basics of how God designs people gives parents the tools they need to guide their children. It is not possible to provide the different tools you need in the context of a book,[1] but I can give you the basics of how the tools work, and a general outline of what insights each test provides as a foundation for understanding the rest of this book.

[1] Complete descriptions for each of the tests accompany the test itself or can be found online or in related books, for a complete listing of resources see attachment A.

Taken from chapter four of my book "Raising High-Octane Kids".

Understand Design and Purpose

2006-02-15T06:40:00.000-08:00

Design and Purpose

Design and purpose are intimately related. The impact of design on an automobile is easy to see. The impact of the Creators design in each of us is not as obvious. With knowledge of design and understanding of purpose parents have the foundation to give wise guidance to their child. What were your children designed for? What are they capable of doing? What unknown talents, passions, and traits do they possess which would empower them to have a profound impact on their fellow brethren? Will they become the next Einstein? Or maybe the first astronaut to land on Mars? Or how about a great Statesman who brings peace between two war-torn countries. How about a true craftsman that brings joy to all he touches, or a highly skilled technician that helps keep your car safe on the road? The capacity for High-Octane children is there if you learn to spot it early on when you give your child a careful “test drive.” While we were yet in our mother’s womb, God designed certain capacities and capabilities into each of us. Understanding and assisting your child where they excel in life will help give them a much better chance of performing to God’s specifications.

“He who cherishes a beautiful ideal in his heart, will one day realize it.
Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your
heart, the beauty that forms in you mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest
thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly
environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last
be built.” James Allen, Author of "As a man thinkith"

It is one of the great tragedies of our times that so many of our young people have no sense of why they are here. Without a feeling of personal worth and self-significance, many teens become depressed and suicidal. Much of the drug abuse in our culture can be directly related to depression. Experts agree. “The most common reason people abuse drugs are “to get high.” Adolescents can become involved in experimentation with drugs. However, only a small percentage of people who experiment with drugs become drug abusers. The desire “to get high” may be from an underlying disease such as depression. It may also come from the pressures of coping with school, work, or family tensions.”[1]
[1] www.emedicinehealth.com

Taken from my book "Raising High-Octane Kids"

How We Are Put Together

2006-02-07T06:29:00.000-08:00

How We Are Put Together

All of us are influenced by what we believe in. Our beliefs shape our lives, give us hope, and motivate our actions. Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't you're right."[1] If we believe things about ourselves that are not true, then we live a lie. However, if we believe things that are only partially true, then we live a partial lie. If we believe truth, then we live a life that reflects truth, or stated another way, we live in reality. When teenagers understand how God has made them, they will enter adulthood prepared to live realistically, and not some false identity developed by observing and reacting to the world around them, but their own true identity.

Sidney Madwed said, “If you want to be truly successful invest in yourself to get the knowledge you need to find your unique factor. When you find it and focus on it and persevere your success will blossom.”

God made each of us with a specific design in mind. He created us as a complex mixture of spirit, soul, and body as outlined in 1st Thessalonians 5:23: “…may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete…”

The Bible says in Jeremiah 1:5: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you . . .” God had an understanding of who your child would be even before He created him. This is an exciting and revealing truth. It means that each child was made to be who they are on purpose, i.e., they were made with God’s purpose in mind, and He has designed every human being to perform at an exceptional level when operating within His “specifications.” As stated earlier, a child’s performance will depend largely upon whether they are raised on high or low-octane fuel.

Each one of us is designed to perform utilizing the “factory options” God gave us. Bodies that give us distinct physical characteristics, a soul that brings passion and emotion to our lives, and a spirit of intellect and reason forever separating us from the animal kingdom. We truly are special creations built to perform as designed by God.

Understanding how God has designed us is not a trivial task, but is vital in understanding how we should train up our child “in the way he should go.” The sad consequences of leaving our children’s development to society or chance are born out in the frightening statistics readily available.

Taken from chapter two of my book "Raising High-Octane-Kids" available on my website 2nd quarter 2006

[1] Quote taken from www.lifefocuscenter.com

Living by Design for Children

2006-02-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

What are some of the benefits of raising High-Octane children as God designed them?

Their attitude about life is one of purpose

Every parent has had to deal with a child who has a bad attitude. It can be a frustrating experience. Dealing with a child not challenged in the area of their gifting is painful for all parties involved. Children are more apt to enjoy something they have a talent in because they are gifted to do it and that gifting produces excitement and passion.
Motivation is built in by God himself.

Understanding how God made your child will assist you in encouraging your child in activities that they have a built-in motivation to perform. Let me illustrate. My oldest son, Michael, loves skateboarding and is well known in our community as a talented skateboarder. It does not take any prodding on my part to get Michael to practice—the motivation is already built in him. God created Michael with the unique ability to use his mind and body to control machines. Whether it is a simple skateboard, an off road motorcycle, or even an off-road racecar. Indeed. Riding in an off-road vehicle with Michael can be compared to an E-Ticket ride at Disneyland. Even though the ride is fast and scary, like Disneyland, it is also a safe ride because personality testing has revealed that one of Michael’s built-in “strengths” is responsibility. This strength of Michael’s will always keep you safe when you are riding with him. It also means he will return your phone call when you call and leave a message, or that he will complete a task he has undertaken for you.

They have focus

A child that is directed “in the way he should go” will have focus; focus that moves them toward goals that they are excited about and are naturally motivated to reach. They will tend to be less attentive to distractions around them and will demonstrate uncommon persistence in achieving their intended results.

People who rise to positions of dominance in any field are persistent and usually meet adversity with determination because they have learned that they are over-comers in their field. President Lincoln was such an individual. He did not do well in public life early on, losing many of the campaigns for office that he set out to capture. Persistence and focus eventually won out and he became one of the greatest leaders in our nation’s history. Lincoln’s leadership skills were honed over the years through public service. However, he also possessed God-given talents he needed to succeed, and that gave him the focus and persistence to reach his goals.

It is easy to fall into the trap of believing that discipline and focus create the talents, and that personality and behavioral traits help make us achievers. In reality, it is the other way around. Attempting to push a child in a direction they were not designed by their Creator to be “bent into” through constant prodding provokes the child and will eventually frustrate the parent. This causes the parent to worry anxiously that their child is not motivated. The children sense something is wrong and try to perform to their parent’s expectation only to be disappointed later on again by poor results.

They have personal significance

King David of the Old Testament is a great example of someone who fulfilled the purpose that God had made him for. In Acts 13:36 we read, “For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep, and was laid among his fathers” (emphasis mine). Many Christians want to be like King David, who the Bible says, “was a man after God’s own heart.” A man who found personal significance and lived life the way God designed him to live. He pursued the joys of his heart where he found persistence and focus, great tools in achieving what God had purposed him for.

They have more self-confidence

When a task seems easy to us it builds confidence in the ability to repeat the task with similar results in the future. High-Octane direction in a child’s life will guide them toward activities and tasks that they are well suited to perform. Of course, all children have the ability to clean their room and wash dishes, but not all children excel at basketball or music. Great basketball players have height, strong lungs, and a healthy dose of competitiveness. Talented musicians have the ability to hear music in a different way than the rest of us and seem to learn a variety of instruments with ease. God builds special talents and physical characteristics into each child so they can have success in life. As a child experiences small successes, it builds confidence to attempt more, and each time success is achieved self-confidence and a feeling of personal significance results.

Taken from my book "Raising High-Octane-Kids" available on my website 2nd quarter 2006.

Child Discipline - Correcting Bad Behavior

2006-01-16T07:29:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how wrong I have been in the past when it came to disciplining my children. I assumed that telling my child what he or she was doing wrong - was enough, when in reality I was only setting there attention on the bad behavior.

Consider the following passage from Romans

8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God [did:] sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and [as an offering] for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able [to do so]; 8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.

A child can be told not to do something in several different ways. But if you add the above verses into the equation the process has to be altered.

Traditionally we are taught:

Tell the child about what they did wrong, (to set their minds on the behavior)

then

Explain why the behavior is bad.

In doing so we are helping the child to set there minds on the things of the flesh, and in reality our minds also.

Note again verse 5 "For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. " So we should avoid setting our minds or the minds of our child on the things of the flesh, in other words we are not to get the child or ourselves focused on what the fleshly activity which needs to be discontinued. Instead we are to set our minds and the child’s mind on the things of the spirit.

God always focuses us on the results of our actions; he describes the improper behavior in terms of the unpleasant outcome, or in other words, the consequence of our disobedience, then he refocuses us on the correct behavior.

Note the following verses.

Genesis 2:17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you shall surely die."
God identified the behavior but did not engage in a lengthy discussion of the evil itself, just identified it, then He gave Adam the consequences of his disobedience.

Ephesians 5:11 and do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
Again, God identifies the behavior with the consequences identified (unfruitful), and then points us to the proper activity (expose them).

The Lord always uses examples of bad behavior to point us to the solutions, towards the light with words that show us the right way and the consequences of not going the right way.

So when you discipline your child, identify the inappropriate behavior, do not dwell on it to the point where it becomes the focus of the child’s attention. Once the behavior is identified, let the child know the consequences of his or her actions, (and of course always follow through). The very next thing a child needs to hear is what action or behavior is acceptable, and pointed to the correct behavior.

If your child runs into the street, get them out of the street, tell them they are not to go into the street, tell them they might get hit by a car and hurt badly, and them show them the place where they can play safely and tell them they can play there without getting hurt.

This is a simple but often misunderstood process. But very important if you are to keep from focusing your child on the very thing you do not want them doing. See High-Octane-Living for more information on parenting and marriage and family.

Find the Career You were Designed For Part III

2005-12-30T07:11:00.000-08:00

Strengths and Talents, Personality and Leadership Style

The next step in evaluating what career you were designed for is understand what your strengths and talents are, or in business terms your "Personal Core competencies". Your personal Core competencies are talents, (intellectual ability) and strengths, (an asset of special worth or utility) a person is gifted with. You can evaluate what yours are by taking the Strengthsfinders test. The Strengths Finders test helps you understand what you are good at instead of how you behave (personality tests help you understand how you behave).

Strengthsfinders:

Defines What We Do Best
Eliminates What We Do Poorly
Defines What We Have to Offer

Armed with information you will be in a position to zero in on the type of career moves you should be making. However there are a couple of other steps you might want to take in the process, you will want to evaluate your personality and leadership styles.

Personality

Use the Myers Briggs to evaluate your personality, the Myers-Briggs test describes how people approach the environment intellectually, and attitudinally, and how they process information.

Leadership Style

Use the DISC test to evaluate your leadership and behavioral styles, the DiSC Classic test describes behavior based on how people view themselves and how they actually are in various environments.

Become the Spiritual Leader in Your Home

2005-12-28T05:59:00.000-08:00

Marriage is in turmoil in our great country, and Christians are leading the pack. Marriage is embattled from all sides. The media attacks men and women with unorthodox stereotypes. Men and women reversing roles, children taking on the role of parents while human intimacy and sexuality are routinely degraded to be nothing more than public entertainment.

Our educational system has taken up sides with Hollywood along with much of the elite, politicians, sociologists, all fueled by the media and our own passion for self.

I believe the number one reason for the failure of marriage, especially in the Christian home is the husband’s lack of spiritual leadership.

When I bring up the idea of men being spiritual leaders in their homes I never get outright protest, actually I almost never get any response. Men and single moms, do not know what a spiritual leader is.

Before I get into what spiritual leadership is all about, let me first address the role of men in a marriage. This is a subject that is misunderstood by men and especially in the Church.

The first mention of a mans role is found early on in Genesis when the Lord gave Adam his first responsibility, Genesis 2:15 Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. Next he gave Adams the rules, 16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; 17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you shall surely die."

Two important conclusions; it was man that was given the responsibility of provider, not the women; man was given the rules to keep, not the women.

The very next thing that happened was the creation of Eve, as a helper. Someone to come alongside Adam and help him, not take on the responsibility of support, not to be responsible to set and keep the rules, but to support him as a helper; Genesis 2:18 ¶ Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."

The Apostle Paul gives us insights and the foundational understanding of what a mans role is in marriage when he compares the relationships in marriage to the relationship Christ has with His bride the Church; Ephesians 5:32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

Men, we are to treat our wives like Christ treated the church, giving His very life to sanctify her in righteousness, to atone for her through His own blood.

So what should the role of a man be in light of scripture? What must a man do to be a spiritual leader?

To be a spiritual leader you would:

Be the provider - Men do not allow your wife to be lowered to your level, Christ provided everything His bride needs, she is not expected to provide her own way, He provided for her.

Be the rule maker - Take on the responsibility to establish and maintain the rules; do not force your sweetheart into the role of lawmaker, lawgiver and enforcer.

Be the one responsible - Be responsible by making the final decision. Why would you allow your wife to take on the responsibility of bad decision-making? You should be the final say; you should take on the responsibility for all that goes wrong, just like Christ did on the cross.

If you will practice just these three simple principles your family and especially your marriage will blossom. Your sweetheart will feel cared for, she might have to give up some of the nice things a second income provides, but the investment the two of you will make in your children will far outweigh any material benefits you might bestow on your children. The home she will make for you will excite your heart for her. Taking responsibility for decisions will build trust in you as the spiritual leader in your home.

Now, I have one last comment on the roles of men and women. This is about putting your wife on a pedestal, giving up self for her. It is about making her priorities your priorities; it is about women turning over responsibility of the final decision making to their husbands.

Men, it is not about becoming a tyrant. Women, it is about trusting God to turn your man into the spiritual leader God wants him to become, not the one you design. Following these simple principles will turn a man into a dynamic leader and his wife into a princess.

Find the Career You were Designed For Part II

2005-12-13T06:12:00.000-08:00

Personal Values

People connect well with a career in which they have common values. Let me explain. When I go into a hamburger joint for a meal, it needs to be clean, one of my values is it has to be clean. If the facility is dirty, I will not patronize the business. The same goes for careers, you should be looking for a career that closely matches your values, what you hold dear.

Values Exercise

Write down what your values are, everything you can think about that is important to you. Once you have identified your values, write down a list of industries that have your same values, or maybe another list that contains a list of companies or industries that do not hold your values.

When you have completed both lists write a personal values statement, a single paragraph that tells the story about what you hold to be important, of value. This statement is the kind of statement you want to carry into your career, a statement about what is important to you.

Watch for part III

Find the Career You were Designed For Part I

2005-12-12T12:08:00.000-08:00

Career Development for High-Octane Living

It is amazing how many of us work in careers we do not like. Most people just grin and bear it. Some because they do not like change, some because they just do not know there is something better out there.

There are really only a few steps one needs to take which will help them discover what type of career they would enjoy. If you know the following about yourself you will quickly see where your career should be heading.

Passion, or Personal Vision

Expresses What Our Differences Are
Defines Who We Want to Become
Celebrates Our Passions in Life

Write out a sentence which clarifies the above statements. Work on developing it over time, it will assist you in developing and understanding your passion. Once you have figured out your passion, you are on your way.

Discipline and Spanking

2005-12-06T06:27:00.000-08:00

This blog is a frank discussion of the use of spanking. If you want your child to fail in life, to despise his parents and go from job to job and marriage to marriage, do not read this blog.

A tragic system of thought has invaded our nation, our states, our communities, our schools and most tragically, our homes. It is a monster that creeps around from house to house seeking to devour each household with ideas that are foreign to truth, God's truth. It seeks to convince us that we can reason children into compliance with good behavioral standards.

The reasoning I often hear is "if you use violence you teach the child to be violent", and "spanking is old fashioned", and "it has been proven that spanking is bad for children".

All the while the number of homes for the emotionally troubled is growing rapidly, our children are being fed pills like popcorn prescribed by doctors for school children diagnosed with every sort of behavioral disorder imaginable.

Children are becoming parents in homes, putting parents on notice "it will be my way" they say in attitude and action. All the while parents continue to seek parenting help in every square of modern physiology, buying books they agree with and seeking help from those who have led them astray to begin with.

Don't get me wrong. This generation is providing my children a wonderful opportunity, they along with others who have disciplined lives are the leaders of today and the future. Looked upon for direction and purpose in life. Most of their peers from high school and college are squandering their lives and marriages, sacrificed on the alter of "Modern Parenting Techniques".

Look around you, check out parents in stores, read the current trends in child physiology, see how many children, especially in the inner city are kept on prescription drugs. Ever wonder why this is not a problem in third world countries where parents have not become enlightened to the new parenting syndrome.

God has said we will be punished for doing wrong, not just horrible evil but for what we do that is immoral. He has told us to punish our children for what they do that is wrong, for not obeying us, for not obeying Him.

If a child is never punished for what they do wrong, how will they pay the debt they owe? How will they ever have a clear conscience, how will they feel good about themselves? How will they release the bitterness built up against their parents as they find themselves tormented by their own inability to cope? How will they learn to sit and listen to a teacher without a pill to calm them down?

Punishment is important, it is God's way and it absolutely has to be a part of our parenting. I am not talking about beating. I am talking about disciplined spanking, not with your hand, with a paddle, a wooden spoon. Use something which will not injure anything but their pride and stubbornness.

Back up your word with action, when you tell your child no, and they do it anyway, spank. Do not spank when you are angry, spank after you have calmed down. Spank because you love them enough to provide them with a chance to make it in this world.

For those who want to argue, argue with your Creator, He made up the rules, I am just passing along the message. Check out what He has to say in these verses.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. ~ It is a fathers responsibility to make sure that mom and dad train a child, in the absence of a father mothers must fill in.

Ephesians 6:4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. ~ To provoke means to do things that make them angry. Try letting them have their way and see if they do not become angry.

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death. ~ Will a child brought up without Godly discipline come to Christ? Will you place a bet against God and leave them to modern child raising techniques?

Proverbs 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. ~ You know what this means? It means what you think it means!

Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with the rod, And deliver his soul from Sheol. ~ It is punishment with a rod that keeps a child out of hell. How will your child ever repay his dept without punishment?

Proverbs 29:17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul. ~ Want to be a proud parent, want people to desire the company of you and your children, discipline them, spank them as required, let them pay their dept to you and God now so they will not have to pay it in the future to society (spell PRISON).

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. ~ Believe the wisest man that ever lived, your child has foolishness bound up in him, even a two year old is a little sinner, believe God for this wisdom.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother. ~ Mothers, do not think this is a dad only thing. We are called as parents, that is plural, to discipline our children. By the way, notice how the proverbs connect discipline and spanking. Also wisdom with spanking. Also peace of mind and success of the child.

Proverbs 10:1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother. ~ Think a son or daughter who is a failure in life will not bring you grief? His or Her failure will at least in some part be your responsibility!

Proverbs 15:20 A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises his mother. ~ Think I was overboard in my reasoning, spank your child or they will despise you, look around you, the children that despise their mothers and fathers are everywhere. These same children will go on to be nothing, let me repeat, nothing. Employers do not want them, their spouse will not want them and you will endure much grief putting up with them.

Notice this is all connected to spanking!

I could go on but if God's word will not convince you, nothing will. Not even a man raised from the dead, (after all he is the author).

Talking to a Nine Year Old

2005-11-28T07:21:00.000-08:00

This past Thanksgiving weekend Theresa and I spent some time camping with friends and family from Church. A girl and two boys were along and it was a joy to spend some time with them. I enjoyed getting to know the kids and what their passions are.

I asked the boys what they like to do. One loved baseball and the other just enrolled in karate lessons. In about a half an hour I discovered the youngest boy loved to hit the ball and run the bases. He does not like playing in the field because it was boring, the other teams cannot hit the ball so it is the same old thing.

This same young man the day before was ankle deep in mud during one of our hikes into the mud caves we visited near Agua Caliente Park in San Diego County. He just could not resist the lure of the mud.

The older of the two boys was more interested in exploring the caves and was the first to enter each cave. It was a joy to watch his excitement as each new cave offered learning experiences which built on the last cave.

The little girl was fascinated with the rocks. As we walked along I introduced her to names of some of the minerals in found in granite. She was fascinated. Later back at camp she decided that the shiny minerals in the granite had to be gold and wanted to scrape all of it off into a glass of water so she could inspect it. On our geocache hike later in the day she collected rock samples all the way back along the trail.

It only took a little observation and a few questions to determine some of the interests each child had. In the short amount of time we spent with these children and their families we were able to develop a clear picture of each child's passion. One in sports, one in adventure and one in discovery.

You have a storehouse of knowledge built over the years of just what excites your children. Use that information to introduce them to more of the things they seem to be driven to do. The payoff is very high and the cost can be just a few minutes of your time.

Leadership Development

2005-11-21T05:23:00.000-08:00

Gallup Inc. has developed a powerful leadership paradigm which has the potential to super-charge any organization. At it's core the paradigm uses the Strengthsfinder test results to classify leaders into one of three groups.

Passion

Leaders in this classification are keenly aware of the people around them and seek fairness and and the well-being of people within their sphere of influence. This is the person the leadership team turns to and asks "How do you feel about what we are planning". The passion person will have specific input relative to the most important assets an organization has, people. Passion people often score as "I" types on the DiSC test.

Mission

Mission leaders are task oriented, they are often list makers who are keenly aware of where the organization is at any time and what needs to be done to meet the teams goals. Mission people are good at running meetings because they will identify problem areas and keep people on task. Mission people will often score as "C" on the DiSC test.

Vision

Vision leaders are the idea people, they look at an organization and express what they believe it can become. They often score as "D" on the DiSC test.

A mission person will look at an organization and identify what has to be done. The passion leader will look at the organization from the prospective of each persons well being. The vision person will look at an organization and dream about what could be.

An effective leadership team will have these three members identified and each will work out their roles effectively if the team will always ask the right questions.

To the passion person: How do you feel about things and who do we need to pay attention to.
To the mission person: What do we have to do to get to our destination and when.
To the vision person: Where are we going and why are we going there.

Each of these leadership types has different gifts and strengths which provide the team with excellent well rounded decision making capability. With these three team members in place your leadership team will perform at high-octane levels with high-octane results . . . Its the High-Octane Living way.

Learn Why the Myers Briggs Test is Important

2005-11-16T05:30:00.000-08:00

Personality is what the bible calls our soul, it describes how we interact with the world around us. Personality is a combination of distinguishing character traits and is the seat of our:

- Emotions
- Desires
- Passions

Myers Briggs is a psychometric personality test, which means it is a scientific study of personality. The test is named after inventors, and comes in many variations and is available online.

If you take the test several times you may notice some variations over time. Remember, none of the traits are negative! It is not a fail or pass test, there are no wrong answers.

The Jung, Myers Briggs personality profiler.

According to this test all people can be classified using four criteria:
Extroversion – Introversion
Sensing - Intuition
Thinking - Feeling
Judging - Perceiving

Here are the criteria broken down.

Extroversion – Introversion
Defines how people express themselves
-Extroverts
Express themselves mainly in the external world
-Introverts
Source of energy mainly in the internal world

Sensing - Intuition
Defines the method of information perception by a person
-Sensing
Believes mainly information he receives directly from the external world
-Intuition
Believes mainly information he receives from the internal or imaginative world

Thinking - Feeling
How the person processes information
-Thinking
Makes a decision mainly through logic
-Feeling
Makes a decision based on emotion

Judging - Perceiving
Defines how a person implements information
-Judging
Organizes life events and acts strictly according to his plans
-Perceiving
Inclined to improvise and seek alternatives

Take the test HERE.

In my next post I will discuss practical application of the test results and how you can find out your complete profile.

Know God's Will with the High-Octane Approach

2005-11-14T06:27:00.000-08:00

My partner James Wray and I presented at a High-Octane Spiritual Gifting conference this weekend. The conference was well attended and included several presentations realative to understanding God's will and how to know your "created profile".

The focus of the seminar was helping people understand how to:

Know God's will
Improve Relationships with Your Spouse and Children
Help Guide College Bound Teens
Assist in Developing Personal Leadership Styles
Turn Passions into High-Octane Career Direction
Give Powerful Advice for Raising High-Octane Kids
Empower Development and Use of Spiritual Gifts
Super-charge Strengths in Business and Management

Participants completed four tests prior to attending the conference including the Strengthsfinder, Myers Briggs, DISC and a Spiritual Gifts Inventory. In the conference we helped attendees understand what the tests measure and why it is important to know how God "Designed" them.

Benjamin Franklin said "There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self." Armed with new understanding of how they are made, attendees were excited with the prospect of working within the context of their "design", some for the first time in their lives.

For me personally, the best part of the seminar was the table time at the end of the conference where we divided the attendees into five tables where pastors and coaches helped everyone understand what there profiles meant. Eyes and hearts lit up as each person at the table began to understand that they are specially designed by God to perform at exceptionally high levels in their areas of giftedness.

Christian Parenting

2005-11-07T08:21:00.000-08:00

So how do we go about raising a child the way God designed them?

All of us are born with built in passions and strengths that well up from whom we are meant to be. When these passions and strengths are given external guidance and stimulation, they provide high-octane fuel in which our children will find significance that will motivate them to excel and perform as designed. This is the essence of Christian parenting, raising kids the way God designed them, not the way we want them to go but the way God designed them to go.

Spotting traits early on in a child's life requires observation. You will need to observe how they interact with other kids, with adults. Watch as they make decisions, do they make decisions based upon how they feel, or something they know to be true. As children reach the age of about 16 they can take the Myers Briggs, Strengthsfinders and DiSC tests to help identify how they are "wired".

My son Mike Jr. is all about what is right. He leans on what he learns to make a decision. My daughter Rachel is the opposite. Her decisions will be based largely upon how she feels about things.

This means is Mike Jr. needs to be exposed to lots of literature and critical thinking techniques while Rachel needs to be encouraged to develop relationships with mentors who will help her find truth.

You might be thinking that one is more preferable than the other. If so, it would imply that God makes many of us inferior. Of course this is not the case, He made all of us to excel in life, just through different methods.

Christian parents can assist young ones by observing how they do things and help direct them in the "way they should go."

Raising High-Octane Kids

2005-11-02T08:53:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Often this verse is taken to mean we should raise them right and they will continue to live the good morals we taught them. While this interpretation is correct, we can glean even more wisdom here. The words “in the way he should go,” means exactly that, we are to bring understanding and wisdom to bear in the raising of our children, from the very beginning of life. If we understand how God has made them we can then direct their paths, give instruction and pass on wisdom, not just the rules but direction, “the way he should go”. That is what wisdom is all about, the application of knowledge in a way that brings glory to God.

So how do we go about raising a child the way God designed them? All of us are born with built in passions and strengths that well up from whom we are meant to be. When these passions and strengths are given external guidance and stimulation, they provide high-octane fuel in which our children will find significance that will motivate them to excel and perform as designed.

For more on Raising High-Octane Kids, see High-Octane-Living.Com

Starting a New Business

2005-10-31T05:43:00.000-08:00

I have personally done more than 15 business startups over my lifetime. Some of them did quite well but most of them failed. The most common reason for failure was funding. Especially when the economy took a turn for the worse. Funding is citied as the most common reason for business failure.

The risks associated with starting a business are numerous, the failure rate can be as high as 90% in the first three years and the stress and wear on marriages is tremendous.

Limiting Business Risk - Ask yourself the following questions:

Are you designed to handle the stress that comes with small business management.
Do you have the passion and drive that will help provide motivation and drive when it comes to the marketing and sales aspects of a business.
Do you really understand what your role in a business should be.
Do you have the skills to develop and manage people.
Has your experience managing business resources shown that you are a capable of handling a business career.
Have you taken advantage of business consulting services which might lower your risk.
Are you talking to a mentor or pastor for business advise.
Have you attended management training seminars.
Have you been through management development or business growth training.

The best business advise I can give is to prepare. Prepare a business plan, as much detail as possible. It will help you understand where you have limitations and weaknesses and provide you with a roadmap for success. Put together the funding you will need and scrape it together before you open the doors. Do a good market analysis. Find out what is unique about your business. Specialize in a vertical market and know what your expenses are going in.

These are just a few of the things you should keep in mind when considering starting a business. Find out how you are made to help you limit your risk here.

Links to resources:

Score Small Business Administration Business Startup Help Startup Capital

Leadership Development

2005-10-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

Each of us is gifted with our own leadership style. Our leadership style is built in to us. They all have their strengths and weaknesses but if understood and used in context they can be a powerful force in developing the leader within. Leadership development the High-Octane way means developing the leader that already exists. Of course we have to find out what a persons leadership style is before we can assist a person in development of that style. Once we have a persons "created profile" we can then help them to develop and sharpen their skill sets to lead the way they have been designed to lead.

Leadership style is a behavioral trait which the DiSC test will help you discover. Once you have discovered your leadership style you can begin developing your strengths and talents for the perspective of that style. You can purchase the test and a book that explain how DiSC works here.

Of course the DiSC is only a part of the puzzle. For a full understanding of how you are made, take the DiSC, Strength Finders and Myers Briggs tests. The Myers Briggs test is free and you can take it here.

Personal Development

2005-10-28T09:49:00.000-07:00

Personal Development

When I look at a carpenters hammer I know it has been designed to do a particular job. The person who designed the hammer had a specific function in mind. They can be used to drive nails, bend nails, pull nails and hurt fingers. If you try and use a hammer as a screw driver you will find it is a poor screwdriver but a great hammer for driving nails.

People are also designed on purpose by their creator to perform to specification. High-Octane Living is all about helping your in your personal development to be the person God designed you to be and therefore fulfilling your purpose just as King David did in his generation.

Check out these books on personal development.

Teen Parenting and Setting Goals

2005-10-27T05:42:00.000-07:00

Teen parenting is a challenge today, especially in the intercity and large suburbs where drug use, sexual promiscuity and violence is so prevalent. Raising kids in these environments is particularly challenging for Christian parents who want to raise kids to love God and His Son Jesus Christ. Successful teen parenting requires the ability to challenge and motivate your teen. Motivating a teen in a world that is luring them into sin from every direction into a life of service to Jesus is the most challenging part of parenting teenagers today. Motivating teens to follow the path that God has created for them is possible once you have knowledge of how God designed your child and understanding of how to apply that knowledge in a way that will motivate them to be the person God designed them to be.

One way to help give teens direction is to challenge them with goals. Goals should be set that will require your teen to use the skills God has given them. They should draw on there strengths, especially in the near term. If your child is an extrovert and draws energy by being around lots of people, help them set a goal to do something creative with a group. Not something you want to do, but something that is within the scope of what they do well. If he or she is an athlete they might set a goal to get together and watch a sporting event.

Setting small reasonable goals in the beginning will help your teen understand how rewarding it can be. Once they get used to setting goals encourage them to go to the next level and set a goal to do a service project at the ball field with the same group.

This is just a small example, but the point is to set small simple easy to accomplish goals that lead to larger goals. As time passes setting larger goals such as getting a scholarship or getting accepted at a college of their dreams will not seem so far fetched.

Parenting with High-Octane Fuel

2005-10-26T17:59:00.000-07:00

Left to the school systems, TV, and the current culture, people may not have the motivation and focus to succeed the way they were designed. How can we know God's plan for us if we do not take into account how they are made? God made each of us with talents, personality, and behavioral traits that all give direction in life. Our responsibility is to understand to the best of our ability how God has made us and then, armed with the our "created profile" we can "make our paths straight".

High-Octane Living offers parent resources to assist parents in building relationships with their children, teen parenting advise, parenting classes in the form of seminars and conferences and general parenting advise. These resources include books, High-Octane personal profile resources and our own book, "Raising High Octane Kids".

Raising kids is not a challenge for the faint of heart. Raising kids in a world where God is being locked out of every part of our society is a job for parents who are armed with High-Octane fuel. High-Octane fuel for parents is knowledge, understanding and wisdom as to how God designed you and your children and how to apply that wisdom for the results that will please God and make raising kids a joy rather than a problem.

High-Octane Career Development

2005-10-21T06:31:00.000-07:00

Career Development

My grandfather used to say "if you love what you do you will not work another day for the rest of your life". Most of us work in fields we put up with but are not completely satisfied with.

Some of us will seek a career counselor and get career counseling but most people will struggle through life and never seek career advise. Most people do not get any career planning from parents when they are young. What a tragedy when you consider so much of our lives are spent at work. It does not have to be that way, each of us has the potential to work in a field we love. Sometimes it is a field that might not pay as much but the price of working in a job you do not like is not worth it.

Career Counselor and Career Counseling

Teens entering college are the most vulnerable to misguidance in the area of career planning. Often they are driven by peer pressure, perceived value of a college or career choice or the path of least resistance. Statistics show 70% of college graduates work in fields outside their college major. Many who enter technical institutes work for a short time in the field they study in just to find they are not equipped for or do not like the field.

Find out How God Designed You

If you are currently working in a field you are unhappy with, you are the only one that can do anything about it. The first step is to make the decision to do something about it. Once you have made the decision you will need to discover some things about yourself. It is possible to find out just how you have been designed by attending a seminar designed to assist you in doing just that.

Living a Life of Purpose

2005-10-18T17:51:00.000-07:00

High Octane Living is achieved by living life the way God has designed every one of us to live. Living life based upon how God designed us instead of the path of least resistance. It is a life of fulfillment directed by God's plan for our lives instead of a life directed by choices made in the absence of understanding and wisdom.

People have the ability to know how they have been designed, to understand what they are capable of and how to map out the future God made them for. High Octane Living is about assisting people in the development of their "Created Profile", it is about helping parents and young people find purpose and direction in their lives. High Octane Living is about coaching people in career development, marriage and family and parenting decisions.

What you learn about yourself can be applied to Business, Career Development, Parenting, Ministry, Leadership Development, Personal Development and Marriage and Family.