Parenting and Personal Development Blog

Senate Passes Stem Cell Research Bill

2007-04-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

Senate Passes Stem Cell Research Bill

For the second time in nine months, the Senate today passed a bill that would loosen President Bush's restrictions on human embryonic stem cell research, but once again falling short of the 67 votes needed to override a promised veto.

Curious that articles about stem cell researchy do not mention that stem cell research is not illegal, just not funded by the Federal Government. If the private research supports the claims of proponents of stem cell research, why dosent anyone tell us about the great progress that is being made in the private sector using live embryos, oh wait, I forgot, there has been no progress to date, do I smell an agenda on the left? By the way, stem cell research is now funded in CA.

The following exerpt is from http://www.leaderu.com/focus/stemcell.html

One such myth remains: President Bush banned all stem cell research. Yet, private research on embryonic cell lines continues and adult cell lines continue to display amazing restorative powers.

Scientists have indeed used early embryos or blastocysts, some from embryos previously created for implantation and pregnancy, some created solely for research, but results have been mixed at best. Cells often grow out of control into tumors, immune systems sometimes reject the cells and as yet no way has been found to guide the cells into the differentiation needed for use in the adult (or child) body. Granted, it would take many more cell lines (and a great deal more money) to reach this point of learning how to guide the differentiation, if indeed it can be done, which provides another utilitarian argument for lifting the limitation on embryonic cell lines.

Cells from birthed humans (called "adult stem cells" whether the source is literally an adult or a child or even a baby), on the other hand, show extraordinary results and promise. Spinal cord injury victims have testified before the U.S. Senate of their recoveries, heart attack patients have regenerated hearts, a sickle cell anemia sufferer was cured by umbilical cord blood (which as the others, required no human death) and cancer patients now live symptom-free. We have gathered a few articles, essays and other resources, some of which offer further lists of current successes.

The Church is Off Course

2007-04-05T06:28:00.000-07:00

The Church has Lost it's First Love

It appears to me that the Evangelical Church has been led astray, lost it's first love. Every church I go to, every Christian TV program I watch is focused on evangelism. Don't get me wrong, evangelism is high on the list of God's priorities, but it is not His top priority, not even close.

Evangelism is NOT on the top of God's Priority List

Think about it. If evangelism is at the top of God's priority list, why doesn't it get top billing in the Old Testament, as a matter of fact, why doesn't Jesus give it top priority. Come to think of it, it doesn't even get top priority in the New Testament. Seems to me that if we want to know what should get priority we should check out what Jesus gives top priority to. It isn't evangelism. Yet evangelism is all we hear about, as though evangelism is the issue.

God's top Priority is God.

God's top priority is God. God the Holy Spirit's top priority is God the Son, God the Son's top priority is God the Father. The entire Bible, every part of it is dedicated to bringing glory to the Son of God. If you read a passage and do not find Christ at the center of it you have not understood the passage. It is about the Lord, it is about His glory, His place in our hearts. If He is not in the center then something else is. I am concerned that much of the church has it's focus on church growth and see evangelism as the mobilizing force, as a way of manipulating the people into bringing in the numbers and of course the contributions that go with it.

The Church has Gone Horizontal

The heart of man is desperately wicked, and putting our selves ahead of His glory is an indictment of just how far we have swayed from the core of the true faith that the saints of God are called to. The church has gone horizontal, the songs we sing have way to much "I, Me and We" in them and not enough of and about Him. People are now trained to respond to teaching related to self improvement and personal satisfaction. Sunday Schools are watered down, Bible Study has become devotional in nature, the radio and TV programs are about us, about our problems. A scarce few actually teach the word of God, magnify His name and teach people what really saves them, (and it is not a simple feel good prayer from Americas best selling Christian book.) Bring up Jesus and His glory in a conversation among several Christians and watch what happens, people scatter or the conversation invariably turns to something else, Christians no longer know enough about Jesus to feel comfortable talking about Him, about His glory and about His person, about His sacrifice.

So What is God's Plan

The two commandments the Lord gave us are "Mt 22:37 And He said to him, "'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.'38 "This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 "The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' 40 "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

Evangelism should get high billing, but not at the expense of what is at the center of God's heart which is Himself. I am afraid that if we do not get to the business of putting Him first, we will soon loose our effectiveness. The songs we sing should be about Him first, our plans, conversations and joy should be wrapped up in Him. The fact that He is not at the center is a clear sign that we just don't think about Him, His Glory and His desire for our lives, the Church has clearly put itself in the center of the peoples hearts, or at least attempting to. Church leaders, look at what is being taught in your Sunday Schools, the songs you are singing, the passages you are preaching, look at what is being displayed in your foyers, what is in your bulletins, is it about Him or us. He should have priority, not what He can do for us, but Him.

Evangelism

Want to grow your Church, put Him at the center. When people fall desperately in love with Him, they cannot help but boast about Him to everyone they meet. Now that is evangelism.

Ps 34:2 My soul shall make its boast in the LORD; The humble shall hear it and rejoice. 3 O magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together.

Jer 9:23 ¶ Thus says the LORD, "Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; 24 but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice, and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things, "declares the LORD.

Wild at Heart

2006-12-28T07:33:00.000-08:00

Wild at Heart

If you haven't read the book "Wild at Heart", I strongly recommend it. This is a book with a strong message to men urging us to live the core of who we are.

Wild at Heart is a book about men using courage to:

Find an adventure and live it.
Charge the mountains in your life with passion.
Win the girl.

I don't know about you, but something in these three action items excites my heart. Makes me want to climb the Mt Everest of my life and WIN.

Hope you will buy and enjoy this great book. While you are at it, get the women in your life the companion book "Captivating."

A Poem by Mike Adams

2006-11-24T07:27:00.000-08:00

Dreams of the Curse

Born under curse treading water from birth,
Fleeing monsters without faces in restlessness.
Dying in dreams without want, without reason,
Flights of fear in nights of relentless motion.

Torn without love of parents once removed,
Brought back to a place with nowhere to hide.
Moved to Metropolis where truth hides in cold,
Lost in dreams of the curse in blinding night.

Struck in anger, uprooted, torn down,
Running to nowhere to escape hell’s scorn.
Hiding in eggshells, where no one can see,
Haunted by sunsets in sins agony.

Abandoned in youth, left at sins side,
Faced with his vises he will surely die.
Left as a weed in barren soil to exist,
Tormented by visions of curses by night.

Finding the one to live with forever,
Daydreams of greatness, sleeping undressed.
From a distance hope cries out from the best,
Drowned out by slumber’s hopelessness.

Found by the guilty to work for hire,
Betraying the dreams that now bring desire.
Running from pain of life without rest,
Searching dark rooms for meaning and bliss.

Dreams of the curse from Adams side,
Will wake us one day as Jesus bride.

A poem by Mike Adams

2006-11-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

The Crimson Path

There is a narrowing path
Crossing over a crimson bridge
Where crystal waters of healing
Flow from the Creator’s side

And we will one day enter
Into a hollowed stone
Where Jesus went in before us
His body beaten bloodied and torn

A King of mans desire
foretold before his birth
Became a wretched scapegoat
That I might wear a crown

Some of my Muses

2006-11-24T07:21:00.000-08:00

Here are two muses I wrote as part of a project in a writers critique group led by James Wray of Ramona CA.

Blood on the Clouds

The deepest, darkest cloud
Is white as snow on heavens side.

Resurrection Fragrance

Some are pruned to perfection
Others are left to their own
One rises a marigold The other rises a rose

Career Advice

2006-11-16T06:44:00.000-08:00

Career Advice

Get to know yourself early on, take the personal assessment at http://www.high-octane-living.com/shopping.htm and read them at least once a year.

Call me for a career coaching session once you have completed the assessments. It will be the best two hundred dollars you will ever spend.

Learn to plan, plan your day, your week and your life. Not having a plan is planning to fail.

Develop a five year plan. Figure out where you want to be in five years. Then fill in the things you have to do between now and then, and start doing them.

Discover your true passion, list all the things you love to do, then how you feel about them, then list what it is you are actually doing that makes you feel that way. Read the results carefully for patterns. These patterns will give you insights into your personal passions. Use this information to find a career which will allow you to use your passion.

If you have not finished college, do it now, if you need coaching, get it now. If you are not sure what your passions are in life, get help now. Find this stuff out while you can still do something about it.

If you hate your work, plan to get out of it into something you love.

If what you love is difficult to make a living at, like art, music, drama etc., find a plan B, make what you love your hobby and try to make a little money at it, if you love it, just getting a chance to do it will keep you satisfied.

Do not get fooled into thinking that you are going to work just to earn money, money is a terrible task master. Instead, work at what you enjoy, you will be good at it and people will pay you well when you do it.

If you own your own company, read the white papers at http://www.emerald-business-services.com/ they will help you do it right. If you are thinking about starting a business, there are resources at this site that will assist you.

Parenting Advice

2006-11-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

Parenting Advice

Use a wooden spoon, never in anger, to spank your young child, start as soon as they can say no to you. Just a few swats is all it takes, and be very consistent. By the time they are two, you will not have any terrible twos, when they become teens, they will still obey. Forget about the time outs, it is just a parental exorcise program developed to create frustrated children and parents. Trust Gods advice and spank them, they will not die. Pr 13:24 ¶ He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Pr 22:15 ¶ Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Pr 23:13 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die. Pr 23:14 You shall beat him with the rod, And deliver his soul from Sheol.

Read my free online book "Parenting your Child's Design" at http://www.high-octane-living.com/rhoc-toc.htm or follow directions to download it.

Those of you who are arguing with God on this will figure out the wisdom of it all when they become teens. Do yourself a favor and love them the way God says to, use the spoon.

Give your teens the assessment tests at http://www.high-octane-living.com/shopping.htm and read them at least once a year.

Get your children in youth group, one they like, and keep them there, do not let their discouragement at first derail your goals.

Give your children the gospel early on and ask them if they want to receive Jesus Christ as their personal savior.

Spend family time together, build traditions around holidays.

Talk to your kids about life, about your values, about their heritage, about your dreams. Find out what their dreams are, incourage them to be all they can be.

Make them work for and buy their own cars, expensive toys etc. Don't buy them things they don't need. Teach them to do without and they will be happy when they have, no matter how much it is.

Encourage your children to engage in conversation with adults as they grow into teens, people you know and trust of course, people in your church who can act as mentors.

Read good books on parenting, by well known Christian authors like James Dobson.

Career Advice is the next blog

Marriage Advice | Parenting Advice | Career Advise

2006-11-16T06:42:00.000-08:00

Marriage Advice Parenting Advice Career Advise

It is interesting how life progresses. It seems that by the time you finally figure out how you should raise kids, they are grown and married. By the time you figure out how to have great sex, you are old and gray. By the time you figure out what career you want, you are in your fifth career change. The sad thing is that what we do when we are younger often sets the stage for how well we will fare for the rest of our lives.

Here are the things my wife and I have learned about each. If you will take heed, you will be investing in your life, a future full of rewards, if you do not, you will join many who live lives of regret as they grow older.

Marriage Advice

I am often asked for marriage advice, so here are some of the things my wife and I have found to make our marriage one most people only dream of.

Start devotions today, read the bible together, or get a book on marriage, God, the Bible, parenting etc, read it together, outloud.

Become active members of a Bible preaching church, one that is evangelical in nature, not a social club.

Talk to each other often about what you love and respect about each other.

Guys, make sure your objective is to bring your wife to orgasim, not just to have sex. This is done through loving her all day long and ends in foreplay followed by lovemaking. This one thing will change your lovelife from sex to lovemaking. It is like the move from childhood to adulthood. Don't wait until you are fifty to get this right, you are missing as wonderful part of life!

Get to know each other early on, take the personal assessment at http://www.high-octane-living.com/shopping.htm and read them at least once a year.

Read Love and Respect, purchase it here http://www.high-octane-living.com/marriage-and-family.htm and practice the notes at the ends of the chapters.

Order Mark Guygor's laugh your way to a better marriage complete DVD here https://www.laughyourway.com/comersus/store/comersus_dynamicindex.asp heed the advice in this DVD set, it is some of the best I have seen on marriage, and you will laugh all the way through the seminar.

Do things together, take some time alone, but do most everything you do together.

Make a commitment together to stay together, the word divorce should not even be in your vocabulary, unless there is abuse or adultery, even then you might be able to hold your marriage together with the help of qualified counseling.

Go to marriage seminars and marriage classes, not because you have a bad marriage, but because you want to make a good marriage great.

Parenting Advice is the topic of the next blog.

The God No One Wants

2006-09-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

I am amused by the responses people give to the question "do you go to church?" The responses vary but the bottom line is people do not want the God of the bible as their god. They want God to fit a different definition or set of attributes. They want Him to be defined as they believe He should be.

In their view a loving God would not:

Allow suffering, or death for that matter
Suggest evil people be put to death
Demand justice
Keep Himself from the world
Make rules that they do not agree with
Let His Son die

But He would:

Make everyone righteous
Heal with miracles
Not allow sickness
Reveal Himself physically to anyone that asked

The list could go on and on, but you get the picture.

The curious thing is people want a god that fits their criteria, does their opinion of what is right and proper. In other words, they want to set the standard of what and who God is.

Seems to me they don't want God at all, they want to be God, after all, if He is only as powerful as they make Him out to be, as loving or righteous as they can imagine, He could only be as great as they are, as loving as defined by them.

The God I want is one that is powerful enough to raise me from the dead and give me eternal life. He needs to be so wise I cannot always follow His ways, His love has to be limitless, His justice beyond my understanding and His power so amazing He can create from His very thoughts.

I have never met a man or woman who fit this criteria, I know I don't. I need a savior, one who's justice is beyond my reach, one who loves me enough to let me fail, one who wants me to trust so much that He would not reveal Himself to me unless I believed in Him first, one who loves me so much he was willingly died for me, and did.

I want the God of the Christian bible. He alone is beyond my ability to understand, I cannot manipulate Him, understand Him or even talk to Him, He is to Holy for that because on my own, I do not measure up. But He has provided a way, a path. This path is the one He, as infinite, all powerful, all knowing God, set forth as the only way to Himself, to eternal life and to a truly abundant life. Through His death He has provided a way for me to measure up to His standard. He did this by covering my sin with His own blood which He has declared as the only way to pay for our sins. Then He went one step further and upon my request, He entered into me, took residence in me. Who do you know that could do that? Who do you know that you trust could do that. Who has ever claimed to do that besides the God of the Christian bible.

Those who would have a god of their own making are missing the greatest blessing of life, they settle for being their own god instead of knowing the real God. This is the great tragedy of life, and the afterlife for that matter.

Confess your sins, repent of them, (turn away from the life of sin) believe that Jesus is God, ask Him into your life as your Lord and Savior. The life of a believer is not an easy life, nor do I want an easy life by my definition, but this is a life one can truly LIVE with.

Since making my decision to become "Born Again", I have experienced love and relationship beyond my imagination. But isn't that the point, wouldn't the God of the universe be beyond our imagination.

Check out the Adult Online Bible Studies

2006-08-08T06:27:00.000-07:00

I am currently posting my weekly Bible studies online. You can see them at http://www.high-octane-living.com/Bible-Study.htm. The studies are a result of years of study and have all been taught in an interactive format. The Bible Study Lesson format provides for easy addition and deletion of material as required. The Bible lessons are for a class time of one hour.

The basic format is:

Ice Breaker - Each lesson has an ice breaker included to get things rolling.

Announcements - This is a reminder to make announcements

Humor - Some of the studies have related humor to set a light hearted tone

Prayer - This is a reminder to pray before the lesson

How class will benefit from lesson - Application - At this point students are given the application, it is read from the end of the lesson, this helps reinforce the application of the lesson.

Goal of the Class is point 1,2,3 - The goals of the lesson are to learn each of the primary points, so at this point they are briefly over viewed.

Illustration - There are illustrations which help illuminate the Bible study lesson.

Interactive - This portion of the Bible Study Lesson is designed to help students interact with the subject matter.

Study - Each Bible study lesson is given a name

Point One - Every Bible study lesson is divided into three sections, these are the primary points taught in the lesson.

Point Two -

Point Three -

Application - The application of the Bible study is usually a summary of the Bible studies three points. Lessons to live by.

Review the benefits of the lesson - The lesson is summarized by what was learned.

I trust you will find these Free Bible Studies helpful.

Parenting Your Child's Design

2006-06-26T11:33:00.000-07:00

My new e-book, Parenting Your Child's Design is now available at this link. Click Here

Check out the information page and let me know what you think.

In this sample from Chapter 5 the relationship between a child's passions and how they are like a compass directing the path of a child. This and other helpful illustrations are provided to assist you in parenting your child.

When I was nine years old, we lived in a tin roofed home on a small farm in central Arizona. It was a paradise for a young adventurer. One of the experiences I had on the old farm shaped the passions of my heart for the rest of my life.

Early one morning a plane roared overhead just above our house. The sound of the radial engine was thrilling, and the sight of the big, yellow biplane soaring gracefully through the sky so low to the ground sent chills up my spine. I watched as the plane flew over neighboring crops dusting them between maneuvers around telephone poles, and structures. As quickly as the plane maneuvered to dust a row it again turned, and slowed as the pilot lined up the plane with the dirt strip, and then landed in a few fields over. A few minutes later he took off again, and it was all I could take. I started running toward where he landed watching the graceful biplane the entire time. I could feel the shadow as he passed overhead blocking the Arizona sun. The strip he landed on was a lot farther than I thought, although it didn’t matter because I had all the energy I needed to get there. Field after field, along paved roads to dirt roads, and finally to the small temporary dirt strip I ran as fast as I could to get to the landing strip. As I stood panting at the departure end of the small dirt strip he made his final approach, and landed to reload chemicals for the last time. His partner got back in his service truck and drove off. The biplane made its final passes and then disappeared over the horizon, but never from my mind. That day is still vivid in my mind; as I am still filled with excitement, and anticipation about flying.

Years latter I am still passionate about flying. It seems to be engrained into my being, and the very thought of flight brings excitement to my heart. I earned my private pilot’s license, and instrument rating in my early thirties, and after two thousand hours as a pilot I still get a thrill out of takeoffs and landing. A passion developed in me on a sunny day as I watched a big yellow biplane dust crops.

Seeing passion in our children.

From an early age each of our children has flown with me over the years I let them take the controls, and “feel” the plane in their hands. Jason caught the fever just like I did, and over time he developed a passion for flying.

Seeing Jason’s interest in flying, Theresa, and I began encouraging him with rides in our airplane, books about flying, and stories of exciting flying adventures. When he was getting close to the age where he could get his private pilot’s license, we began encouraging him to pursue his passion by taking flying lessons. With his own hard earned cash he started working toward his dream while he was in high school, and soon after graduating he received his private pilot’s license. He since earned his instrument rating, and he is working diligently toward becoming a commercial airline pilot.

Jason’s passion followed his personal profile; he was born to be a pilot. Everything about his profile points to a profession where caution, attention to detail, development of others, recurring training, a talent for constant improvement, a servant’s heart, and a steady temperament are a part of the job description.

Using Passion as a Compass.

Some drivers use a compass mounted on their dash to help them get a bearing on their position relative to north. A compass is very handy when you are in an area you are a little unsure of, especially at night. As you observe your child’s desires and passions, you are reading a compass, interpreting traffic signs and getting clues pointing you toward where your child’s heart is. Passion comes from thoughts, which well up out of what we value and believe. As your children grow, the best way to understand how God made them is to observe what they love and what their desires are. What they value is part of what is behind the passion, when coupled with something, which excites what they value (such as flying in Jason’s case) a desire is intensified, and becomes apparent through observation and dialog. As a child develops he meditates on what excites his heart, and what he believes has value, which in turn develops a love and desire.

For other parenting information sources click here.

Communication in Marriage

2006-06-14T06:14:00.000-07:00

Communication in Marriage

The following represents responses from men and women in
a class on marriage. The questions are designed to help couples learn from the
opposite sex how to communicate love to one another through their actions.

Mens responses to how wives show support to their husbands

Support their efforts / Show appreciation
Words of support in what they are doing
Wives know your goals and share them
Family connections (help with). Men need help connecting because they are detached during the day

Womens responses on how husbands can be closer to their wives

Make them a priority
Confirmation with listening
Observing needs
Interested in what they are doing
Details not just summaries
Little unexpected surprises
Talking about the Lord together
Doing devotions and praying together

I put together the questions based upon similar questions in the book Love and Respect. Each chapter in the book has a similar list of questions that spouses can use to understand each other better. I highly recommend it.

Marriage Advise | Marriage Communication

2006-05-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

Marriage Advise

I have been teaching a class on marriage at our church. Each Sunday I have what we call an interactive time. This is a time where I pose a question to the class and they resond with answers and opinions.

Last week the question was:

Ladies, how would you like your husband to show you love?

The ladies answered:

Listen with interactive dialog and do not try to fix them, unless they ask for help or opinions.
Put words into action.
Have patience.
Be transparent.
Make them a priority.
Being a good provider.
Spontaneous acts of love without expectation of sexual intimacy.

Men, how would you like your wife to show you respect?

The men answered:

Greeting them after work.
Not talking them down behind their back.
Ask their opinion and advice.
Slow to anger.
Serving them.

The discussion that followed was revealing. Men want respect and women want love. After giving us one of the most important passages in the Bible on marriage, the apostle Paul gives us the formula for a happy marriage in Ephesians 5:33 where he says "Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and [let] the wife [see to it] that she respect her husband."

You can read more about these issues in the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Click here to purchase the book Love and Respect.

Foundations of Marriage

2006-05-08T06:48:00.000-07:00

This is the second in a series of three blogs on the foundation stones of a happy marriage.

Becoming One Flesh - Prior my previous blog
Love and Respect Cycle
Power and Love Balance

Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. -Aurelius

These three fundamental principles represent key ingredients of a happy marriage. There is no magic recipe for a happy marriage but there are certain principles, which will provide a sound foundation for strengthening your marriage.

Love and Respect Cycle: from the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

The principle is taken from Ep 5:33. It is a simple concept rooted in this easy to understand summary of Eph 5:33; "however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." The principle is illustrated in the chart on the left.

Bringing harmony to your marriage may be as easy as being the first one to make a move to provide what your mate most desperately needs.

A man wants and needs respect, a woman wants and needs love. It is that simple. Love motivates a woman to respect her husband and respect motivates a man to love his wife. What could be easier. But there is a catch. What if the person you are married to is not lovable, or not worthy of respect?

The solution is not in finding fault but in finding the original torch. What was it that made you fall in love in the first place? No doubt it was more than one thing. Write down a list of the things you love about your mate and meditate on the list, think about them, add to them as new ideas come to mind. You will find that when you think about what you love in a person your emotions will react to your thoughts.

What did you respect about the man you married, make a list of them and meditate on the list, think about them and your emotions will take over in the way you relate to him.

Do these simple things and you will find the principle of love and respect is a powerful ally in developing a happy marriage.

And the Two Became One Flesh

2006-04-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

High-Octane Marriage is all about living as one flesh, not two separate people living under the same roof.

Becoming one flesh illustrates an important spiritual reality. Just as a Christian becomes one with Christ when they are saved, a man and a woman become one with each other when they are married. They are committed to one another, they love one another and they communicate with each other as though they are one person, or at least that is how marriage is designed.

There are inherent disadvantages to living as two separate people under the same roof. Children soon catch on to the fact that there are his and her things, his and her bank accounts, his and her rules, the list never ends.

If children see that mom and dad are one, they know not to play one against the other.

Finances are among the top reasons for divorce. Keeping your finances together can help your marriage. If you and your spouse share bank accounts, you stay closer together in communication to keep track of spending, because you both have to monitor and be involved in the process.

The advantages to becoming one flesh are numerous. If you are looking for reasons, just think about why God wants us to think of our selves as one with Him, the insights are very revealing.

Recipe for a Happy Marriage

2006-04-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

Recipe for a Happy Marriage

Many people look on the Internet for the phrase "Recipe for a good marriage". As with many things in life the recipe for a good marriage starts with good ingredients in the right portions mixed in the right order and cooked according to the recipes instructions.

Recipe for a Happy Marriage

God - If both partners will put God first, you will never have to worry about who wins an argument, God will always win because both of you will go to Him as the final authority in any argument, if you do not believe in God, then there is no final authority, except of course recompense.

Spouse - Putting your spouse above the children sends the right message to your children and your spouse. If you put your spouses needs below those of your children you will find yourself lonely as they seek other sources of stimulation and become alienated from the children. Your spouse is a lifelong mate with whom you have been joined together with; you are not two separate people but one flesh. Your children are with you on loan from God, He expects you to raise them with love and care, but not at the expense of allowing them to come between you and your mate.

Family - Putting your family before work will come back to you in abundance. This means you might have to pass up the promotion that requires you to work extra long hours. Or it might mean finding a new job with a company that respects the family. Not easy words to digest, but the rewards for doing this include leaving a spiritual inheritance for your children, a real legacy. It might also mean passing on the new stuff so mom can be home more.

Work - Work before play, God gave us work to occupy us and teach us the value of time. When work get priority over our God, Spouse or family, the family unit breaks down, finances are often mishandled and life becomes a complete drag.

Of course the recipe book is the bible. Without consulting the bible you will find yourself wondering around in the badlands of life, seeking instruction from those who have to learn by trial and error, usually the errors of those they improperly instruct.

Develop a High-Octane Prayer Life

2006-03-20T16:47:00.000-08:00

Developing a High-Octane Prayer Ministry

As Christians we go before the actual throne of God, not in symbol, but in reality, it is there that we have audience with the God of the universe.

Heb 10:19 ¶ Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy
place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way which He inaugurated for
us through the veil, that is, His flesh, 21 and since we have a great
priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a sincere heart in
full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil
conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold fast the
confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;

Isaiah's vision should have the same effect on us it had on him, he saw and told us what effect it had on him, we can read not only this but many more assurances that tell us this is a truly awesome experience and privilege.

Isa 6:1 ¶ In the year of King Uzziah's death I saw the Lord sitting on a throne,
lofty and exalted, with the train of His robe filling the temple. 2
Seraphim stood above Him, each having six wings: with two he covered his face,
and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one called
out to another and said, "Holy, Holy, Holy, is the LORD of hosts, The whole
earth is full of His glory." 4 And the foundations of the thresholds
trembled at the voice of him who called out, while the temple was filling with
smoke. 5 ¶ Then I said, "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of
unclean lips, And I live among a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen
the King, the LORD of hosts." 6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a
burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs. 7
He touched my mouth with it and said, "Behold, this has touched your lips; and
your iniquity is taken away and your sin is forgiven." 8 Then I heard the
voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I
said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Now seeing that we are encompassed about by such a great cloud of witnesses we are truly blessed to have this knowledge of the Holy One we can with assurance offer prayers as the writer of Hebrews says.

Heb 12:1 ¶ Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of
witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset
us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

We have assurance that the Lord of Hosts answers our prayers offered with a sincere heart sprinkled clean with the blood of Christ, to not believe it is so, is to trample "under foot the Son of God."

Heb 10:29 How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has
trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the
covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace?

Promises of Answers to prayer verses.

Ps 91:9 ¶ For you have made the LORD, my refuge, [Even] the Most High, your
dwelling place. 10 No evil will befall you, Nor will any plague come near your
tent. 11 For He will give His angels charge concerning you, To guard you in all
your ways. 12 They will bear you up in their hands, Lest you strike your foot
against a stone. 13 You will tread upon the lion and cobra, The young lion and
the serpent you will trample down. 14 "Because he has loved Me, therefore I will
deliver him; I will set him [securely] on high, because he has known My name. 15
"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I
will rescue him, and honor him. 16 "With a long life I will satisfy him, And let
him behold My salvation."

Jer 33:2 "Thus says the LORD who made [the earth,] the LORD who formed it
to establish it, the LORD is His name, 3 'Call to Me, and I will answer you, and
I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.'

Lu 11:9 "And I say to you, ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you
shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you.

Lu 11:15 ¶ "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16 "And I will
ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you
forever; 17 [that is] the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive,
because it does not behold Him or know Him, [but] you know Him because He abides
with you, and will be in you.

Joh 15:7 "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you
wish, and it shall be done for you. 8 "By this is My Father glorified, that you
bear much fruit, and [so] prove to be My disciples.

1Jo 3:20 ¶ in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our
heart, and knows all things. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we
have confidence before God; 22 and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because
we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His
sight.

Marriage Communication

2006-03-10T06:54:00.000-08:00

Marriage Communication

Comunication in marriage is a hot topic, in fact the term "marriage communication" is one of the most searched for terms on the internet (relative to marriage). With so much interest it is obvious that there is a problem in this area.

Marriage Communication

After thirty three years of success in marriage and a lifetime of Bible study on this and other topics I can offer some help here. I do not pretend to have all the answers but I can shed some light on the issue.

Marriage Communication - The Basics

We talk to people we enjoy talking to, it is that simple. If you have grown apart in your marriage you can expect poor communication. If you do not spend quality time in conversation with your mate you will not get to the real stuff that good marriages are made of . . . Sharing feelings, plans for the future, likes, dislikes and passions, sharing stories of the day and how the kids are doing. Notice that each of these things are the little things that bond a relationship together.

Marriage Communication - Rekindle Your Love

Love, by it nature, is an act of human will. Do not confuse it with lust, lust wants something, but love gives without expecting anything in return. Because love is an act of the will, it is possible to rekindle it, or to put another way, to kick start it. If you are in a relationship that was kindled by lust, and many are, you can turn the corner on love, relationship and marriage communication by practicing the following advise.

Think charitable thoughts about your mate, make this a habit, it won't work if you only do it once.

Think about what you love:

About the way they do something
The way they look that catches your eye, (non sexual)
Something they might have said to you that endears you to them
Something they do well
The way they laugh that makes you happy
The way they cry that makes you sad

This is just a sample list so make a list of your own. Once you begin to think charitable (think loving here) thoughts, start talking to your mate about them. This is a formula for getting on the right track in communicating with your spouse, and to a better marriage.

Marriage Communication - Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinks within himself, so he is . . .

Leadership Development

2006-03-06T06:20:00.000-08:00

Leadership Development

We are all leaders, if only in our own homes. Leadership comes natural to some people but great leadership comes from applied knowledge, understanding and wisdom. There is no magic formula to becoming a great leader, it is hard work and requires the application of a variety of disciplines. I have attempted to provide some foundational principles here which I have gleaned from the Bible, I trust these principles and concepts will be of value in development of your leadership style.

A knowledgeable leader learns his or her trade through training, reading and watching other leaders. Gaining knowledge about becoming a leader is simple. Take a course in leadership, read a few books, (John Maxwell has some great books on leadership), and find a leader who would be willing to mentor you.
A leader of understanding learns leadership by practicing it, through mentoring and application of concepts and principles learned through study. Practice what you learn, take the knowledge you are receiving and apply it, let it be manifested in your life, only then you will begin to see what you have learned start to pay off. Be patient, persistence and diligence are two keys in growing in your understanding of what a leader is and how to become one. If you are not leading other than in your home, find opportunities to get involved in leadership in your Church, community, in your child's school or take on a project leader role at work.

A wise leader learns to focus passion on opportunity; personality on promotion; talents and skills on their trade; and utilizes their behavioral traits to manage their weaknesses. Wisdom in leadership is elusive in our culture. Great leadership is measured by the wisdom of the leader. Wisdom is about knowing how to apply both your own skills and the skills of those you are leading, however it is always in the context of serving the good of others. Leadership is not self serving but self sacrificing.
Leadership is about making everyone on your team your personal development project, finding ways to make them be everything God made them to be. It is about teaching people how to focus their passions on opportunity where the real payoff is. If left to chance most of the passion in leaders will be focused on the problem areas of an enterprise instead of where it belongs, focused on opportunities. Great leaders position the right personalities to promote the organizational agenda, they put the right people together with the task they are best suited to be successful at.
Wise leaders learn how to apply their skills and talents on tasks only they can do, they find ways of getting other important things done by people who have the right skill sets to accomplish the organizations goals. We all have different behavioral traits that govern our leadership style. You can learn these by taking the DISC test. A wise leader will utilize these traits to manage their weaknesses. All of us have blind spots in our lives, it takes wisdom to know what they are and to manage them through delegation of tasks we are not equipped to handle.

The Right Tools for the Job

2006-02-27T06:20:00.000-08:00

The Right Tools for the Job

Theresa and I live on a small farm outside San Diego California, which was originally a large olive orchard. Our nine acres has the original eighty-year-old farmhouse, and many out buildings, and barns typically used to support a farm. The property had been a dumping spot, and the home was not lived in for years before we purchased it. Theresa is a farmer at heart, and it has been a lifelong dream of hers to live on a working farm. Within a few years we decided to develop a pick-your-own blackberry farm, blackberries are a weed in some states, but in Southern California they are a rare treat, and a pick your own experience is something parents can bring their kids to, and enjoy the experience together. Because of the size, age, and condition of the farm we expected there would be lots of work, but we had no idea of just how difficult it would be, we just do not own all the tools required to do it right. We had dreams for our farm, but without the right tools we cannot properly till the ground, plant, manage the vineyard, repair the buildings, and build fences. We are also missing the knowledge required to properly maintain a vineyard of blackberries. In its third year the berries were attacked by a fungus, and suffered a tremendous amount of damage. It took outside help to find out just what was wrong, and what we needed to do to correct the problems we were facing, we did not have the experience we needed to be successful on our own.

Learning the basics of how God designs people gives parents the tools they need to guide their children. It is not possible to provide the different tools you need in the context of a book,[1] but I can give you the basics of how the tools work, and a general outline of what insights each test provides as a foundation for understanding the rest of this book.

[1] Complete descriptions for each of the tests accompany the test itself or can be found online or in related books, for a complete listing of resources see attachment A.

Taken from chapter four of my book "Raising High-Octane Kids".

Understand Design and Purpose

2006-02-15T06:40:00.000-08:00

Design and Purpose

Design and purpose are intimately related. The impact of design on an automobile is easy to see. The impact of the Creators design in each of us is not as obvious. With knowledge of design and understanding of purpose parents have the foundation to give wise guidance to their child. What were your children designed for? What are they capable of doing? What unknown talents, passions, and traits do they possess which would empower them to have a profound impact on their fellow brethren? Will they become the next Einstein? Or maybe the first astronaut to land on Mars? Or how about a great Statesman who brings peace between two war-torn countries. How about a true craftsman that brings joy to all he touches, or a highly skilled technician that helps keep your car safe on the road? The capacity for High-Octane children is there if you learn to spot it early on when you give your child a careful “test drive.” While we were yet in our mother’s womb, God designed certain capacities and capabilities into each of us. Understanding and assisting your child where they excel in life will help give them a much better chance of performing to God’s specifications.

“He who cherishes a beautiful ideal in his heart, will one day realize it.
Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your
heart, the beauty that forms in you mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest
thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly
environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last
be built.” James Allen, Author of "As a man thinkith"

It is one of the great tragedies of our times that so many of our young people have no sense of why they are here. Without a feeling of personal worth and self-significance, many teens become depressed and suicidal. Much of the drug abuse in our culture can be directly related to depression. Experts agree. “The most common reason people abuse drugs are “to get high.” Adolescents can become involved in experimentation with drugs. However, only a small percentage of people who experiment with drugs become drug abusers. The desire “to get high” may be from an underlying disease such as depression. It may also come from the pressures of coping with school, work, or family tensions.”[1]
[1] www.emedicinehealth.com

Taken from my book "Raising High-Octane Kids"

How We Are Put Together

2006-02-07T06:29:00.000-08:00

How We Are Put Together

All of us are influenced by what we believe in. Our beliefs shape our lives, give us hope, and motivate our actions. Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't you're right."[1] If we believe things about ourselves that are not true, then we live a lie. However, if we believe things that are only partially true, then we live a partial lie. If we believe truth, then we live a life that reflects truth, or stated another way, we live in reality. When teenagers understand how God has made them, they will enter adulthood prepared to live realistically, and not some false identity developed by observing and reacting to the world around them, but their own true identity.

Sidney Madwed said, “If you want to be truly successful invest in yourself to get the knowledge you need to find your unique factor. When you find it and focus on it and persevere your success will blossom.”

God made each of us with a specific design in mind. He created us as a complex mixture of spirit, soul, and body as outlined in 1st Thessalonians 5:23: “…may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete…”

The Bible says in Jeremiah 1:5: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you . . .” God had an understanding of who your child would be even before He created him. This is an exciting and revealing truth. It means that each child was made to be who they are on purpose, i.e., they were made with God’s purpose in mind, and He has designed every human being to perform at an exceptional level when operating within His “specifications.” As stated earlier, a child’s performance will depend largely upon whether they are raised on high or low-octane fuel.

Each one of us is designed to perform utilizing the “factory options” God gave us. Bodies that give us distinct physical characteristics, a soul that brings passion and emotion to our lives, and a spirit of intellect and reason forever separating us from the animal kingdom. We truly are special creations built to perform as designed by God.

Understanding how God has designed us is not a trivial task, but is vital in understanding how we should train up our child “in the way he should go.” The sad consequences of leaving our children’s development to society or chance are born out in the frightening statistics readily available.

Taken from chapter two of my book "Raising High-Octane-Kids" available on my website 2nd quarter 2006

[1] Quote taken from www.lifefocuscenter.com

Living by Design for Children

2006-02-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

What are some of the benefits of raising High-Octane children as God designed them?

Their attitude about life is one of purpose

Every parent has had to deal with a child who has a bad attitude. It can be a frustrating experience. Dealing with a child not challenged in the area of their gifting is painful for all parties involved. Children are more apt to enjoy something they have a talent in because they are gifted to do it and that gifting produces excitement and passion.
Motivation is built in by God himself.

Understanding how God made your child will assist you in encouraging your child in activities that they have a built-in motivation to perform. Let me illustrate. My oldest son, Michael, loves skateboarding and is well known in our community as a talented skateboarder. It does not take any prodding on my part to get Michael to practice—the motivation is already built in him. God created Michael with the unique ability to use his mind and body to control machines. Whether it is a simple skateboard, an off road motorcycle, or even an off-road racecar. Indeed. Riding in an off-road vehicle with Michael can be compared to an E-Ticket ride at Disneyland. Even though the ride is fast and scary, like Disneyland, it is also a safe ride because personality testing has revealed that one of Michael’s built-in “strengths” is responsibility. This strength of Michael’s will always keep you safe when you are riding with him. It also means he will return your phone call when you call and leave a message, or that he will complete a task he has undertaken for you.

They have focus

A child that is directed “in the way he should go” will have focus; focus that moves them toward goals that they are excited about and are naturally motivated to reach. They will tend to be less attentive to distractions around them and will demonstrate uncommon persistence in achieving their intended results.

People who rise to positions of dominance in any field are persistent and usually meet adversity with determination because they have learned that they are over-comers in their field. President Lincoln was such an individual. He did not do well in public life early on, losing many of the campaigns for office that he set out to capture. Persistence and focus eventually won out and he became one of the greatest leaders in our nation’s history. Lincoln’s leadership skills were honed over the years through public service. However, he also possessed God-given talents he needed to succeed, and that gave him the focus and persistence to reach his goals.

It is easy to fall into the trap of believing that discipline and focus create the talents, and that personality and behavioral traits help make us achievers. In reality, it is the other way around. Attempting to push a child in a direction they were not designed by their Creator to be “bent into” through constant prodding provokes the child and will eventually frustrate the parent. This causes the parent to worry anxiously that their child is not motivated. The children sense something is wrong and try to perform to their parent’s expectation only to be disappointed later on again by poor results.

They have personal significance

King David of the Old Testament is a great example of someone who fulfilled the purpose that God had made him for. In Acts 13:36 we read, “For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep, and was laid among his fathers” (emphasis mine). Many Christians want to be like King David, who the Bible says, “was a man after God’s own heart.” A man who found personal significance and lived life the way God designed him to live. He pursued the joys of his heart where he found persistence and focus, great tools in achieving what God had purposed him for.

They have more self-confidence

When a task seems easy to us it builds confidence in the ability to repeat the task with similar results in the future. High-Octane direction in a child’s life will guide them toward activities and tasks that they are well suited to perform. Of course, all children have the ability to clean their room and wash dishes, but not all children excel at basketball or music. Great basketball players have height, strong lungs, and a healthy dose of competitiveness. Talented musicians have the ability to hear music in a different way than the rest of us and seem to learn a variety of instruments with ease. God builds special talents and physical characteristics into each child so they can have success in life. As a child experiences small successes, it builds confidence to attempt more, and each time success is achieved self-confidence and a feeling of personal significance results.

Taken from my book "Raising High-Octane-Kids" available on my website 2nd quarter 2006.

Child Discipline - Correcting Bad Behavior

2006-01-16T07:29:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how wrong I have been in the past when it came to disciplining my children. I assumed that telling my child what he or she was doing wrong - was enough, when in reality I was only setting there attention on the bad behavior.

Consider the following passage from Romans

8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God [did:] sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and [as an offering] for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able [to do so]; 8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.

A child can be told not to do something in several different ways. But if you add the above verses into the equation the process has to be altered.

Traditionally we are taught:

Tell the child about what they did wrong, (to set their minds on the behavior)

then

Explain why the behavior is bad.

In doing so we are helping the child to set there minds on the things of the flesh, and in reality our minds also.

Note again verse 5 "For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. " So we should avoid setting our minds or the minds of our child on the things of the flesh, in other words we are not to get the child or ourselves focused on what the fleshly activity which needs to be discontinued. Instead we are to set our minds and the child’s mind on the things of the spirit.

God always focuses us on the results of our actions; he describes the improper behavior in terms of the unpleasant outcome, or in other words, the consequence of our disobedience, then he refocuses us on the correct behavior.

Note the following verses.

Genesis 2:17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you shall surely die."
God identified the behavior but did not engage in a lengthy discussion of the evil itself, just identified it, then He gave Adam the consequences of his disobedience.

Ephesians 5:11 and do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
Again, God identifies the behavior with the consequences identified (unfruitful), and then points us to the proper activity (expose them).

The Lord always uses examples of bad behavior to point us to the solutions, towards the light with words that show us the right way and the consequences of not going the right way.

So when you discipline your child, identify the inappropriate behavior, do not dwell on it to the point where it becomes the focus of the child’s attention. Once the behavior is identified, let the child know the consequences of his or her actions, (and of course always follow through). The very next thing a child needs to hear is what action or behavior is acceptable, and pointed to the correct behavior.

If your child runs into the street, get them out of the street, tell them they are not to go into the street, tell them they might get hit by a car and hurt badly, and them show them the place where they can play safely and tell them they can play there without getting hurt.

This is a simple but often misunderstood process. But very important if you are to keep from focusing your child on the very thing you do not want them doing. See High-Octane-Living for more information on parenting and marriage and family.